Before returning to work after the clavineless weekend, I always take the time to research

the news in order to find out what's been going on while I was receiving my regenerative

youth transfusions and disposing of the bodies of the virgins.

Here's a summary of what I learned from my deep study of mainstream media news sources.

The mainstream media report that there's been flooding in Louisiana, an unlike President

George W. Bush who did not rush to Louisiana during Hurricane Katrina because he didn't

care about black people, President Obama did not rush to Louisiana because he didn't

want to cause traffic jams and distract from rescue efforts.

Donald Trump rushed to Louisiana because he's a heartless grandstander who'll use even

a fatal disaster to get himself on television whereupon Obama decided to rush to Louisiana

because he's a sensitive leader who cares so very deeply about the American people.

Now that his summer vacation is over, Hillary Clinton didn't rush to Louisiana because

she just wasn't feeling up to it.

Not that she's sick or anything, she's totally not totally.

She just needs a little rest, totally well.

As if Trump's actions handing out relief materials to flood victims weren't disgusting enough,

the billionaire went on to make racist remarks pointing out that black Americans under democratic

leadership have poor schools, low employment, and dangerous neighborhoods.

This was an outrageously cruel statement to make about a disadvantaged segment of our

society already suffering from poor schools, low employment, and dangerous neighborhoods.

Trump continues to use hateful, racist, violent rhetoric to incite his crappy cracker followers

who deserve to be killed.

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