At TikTok, we're known for entertainment, but behind the scenes, we commit it to safety within our community.

That's why we set all TikTok accounts age between 13 and 15 as private, with no access to direct messaging.

Our family pairing tool lets you link your account to your teams, so you can adjust what content they see,

and manage how long your family spends on TikTok with our screen time management tool.

Safety, your priorities, our commitment.

Search TikTok Guardians Guide to learn more.

The National Institutes of Health are reportedly planning to lift a moratorium on funding laboratory experiments

that would create embryos that are part human and part animal.

This means your tax dollars may soon be used to fund the creation of what are called chymeras,

animals with human traits and vice versa.

Chymeras are named after a creature from Greek mythology

who was a fire-breathing female monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail.

So this should work out well.

Now, when I first heard the news that Washington planned to fund these experiments,

it just seemed to me like the usual governmental mingling of stupidity and pride.

It could only lead to some combination of natural disasters and God sent apocalyptic punishments,

certain to transform the earth into a hellish inferno, ranged by unspeakable creatures capable of dragging millions of shrieking victims to an indescribable death,

followed by an eternity of spiritual torment.

But then I thought, yes, but it could also be kind of cool.

After all, think of all the wonderful creatures that could be created by the sort of brilliant scientists

who have invented every man-made wonder from asbestos to the hydrogen bomb.

For instance, if we could create a being that was half human and half pig,

...