NBC is broadcasting the Rio Olympics on a tape delay with events packaged around the

athlete's personal stories.

The network says, quote, and this is a real quote, more women watch the games than men

and for the women they're less interested in the result and more interested in the

journey.

It's sort of like the ultimate reality show in miniseries wrapped into one.

NBC's director of Udoran programming, Thelma T. Battleaxe added some detail to the

network's policy saying, quote, let's face it, girls don't really give a crap about sports.

So basically if we're going to make some coin off this snooze fest, it's going to be with

soft-focused pseudo-documentaries full of people tearing up about their sick mother or whatever,

then a minute or so of running around a track.

Then it's like the bachelor or at getting a rose and a trip to Costa Rica with a male model

who has the IQ of an eggplant, except instead it's some lesbian broad with enormous thighs.

Getting a gold medal for jumping over a stick and then we forget about her and move on.

Unquote.

So far, for instance, women around the country have thrilled to the sentimental journey

of American fencer Ibn Taj Mahamid.

Miss Mahamid couldn't play sports as a child because there was no way for her to wear

the traditional Islamic headdress to signify her inferiority.

Finally she discovered she could wear her hijab while fencing.

And now the entire United States has the uplifting experience of watching a Muslim wielding a sword.

And of course, there was Jenny Thrasher who won the first American gold medal in the field

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