Ep 169: Taco Doomsday

Improvised Star Trek

USS Sisyphus

Improv, Comedy

4.9 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 29 August 2017

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A quantum entanglement threatens to endanger the crew of the Sisyphus and takes root right where it hurts most - within the ship's handheld loose meat. DuFarge and Lorem get to know each other. Rip upgrades his communicator.

This episode was improvised on May 14, 2017 from a suggestion by Joel Svensson via Facebook.

Edited by Eric Scull

Starring:

Eleanor Hollingsworth as Counselor Rayvek, British Child

Sean Kelley as Lt. Cdr. Crick Watson, Lt. Carl, Historian

Matt Young as Cpt. Julius V. Baxter, Lt. Greg, Federation President

Eli Mandell as Rip Stipley, Luis

Nick Wagner as Lt. Ch'arles Lorem, British Child

Dan Granata as Lt. DuFarge

Sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, a member of the Chicago Podcast Co-Op

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode is brought to you by Cards Against Humanity, a proud sponsor of the Chicago podcast Co-op.
0:07.5	They asked us not to read and add?
0:10.1	Enjoy the show.
0:15.4	Attention crew. This is Captain Julius Valentine Baxter.
0:22.9	I am reaching out to all of you via the intercom to let you know that Tuesday, this upcoming week,
0:31.1	we will no longer be serving tacos and starboards.
0:34.6	They repeat, there will be no more tacos in starboards on Tuesdays.
0:40.3	Unless you go to our applicator and bring your own in, there will be no taco bar in
0:45.3	starboards beginning this upcoming Tuesday. Extra out.
0:50.3	Captain, thank you so much for covering for me. I just, I know everybody's going to be really upset, but, I mean, we created that temporal paradox within the taco machine in the back of Starbirds. I did. It was me. It was my bad. Yeah, I mean, I just appreciate you doing me a solid and covering for me. Oh, yeah, it's no problem. I mean, it's not like it's going to be a problem. It's just gone now. Yeah, it's just anybody who eats a taco from Starbirds is going to see an alternate version of themselves in their best possible lived life. And I just don't think anyone can deal with that kind of pressure. Hold on. So there will be tacos there. They're just going to make you see your best possible life. If you eat them, yeah. That we're going to keep them in the back. I already talked to the Cockney bartender. He's just going to keep them in the back so nobody can see them. But if somebody does eat one, they're going to see this hyper-idealized version of themselves. And all they're going to be able to do is obsess about it and think about their own failings and their own shortcomings, at least I assume. I think we should also throw a sheet over it.
1:47.6	That feels... and all they're going to be able to do is obsess about it and think about their own failings and their own shortcomings, at least I assume.
1:45.3	I think we should also throw a sheet over it.
1:47.7	That feels like the right call.
1:49.0	The taco bar.
1:50.9	Defarge, this console is dusty, man.
1:55.6	Why are you always busting my balls?
1:58.6	Because every time I do, you ask me, why are you always busting my balls?
2:03.6	You know, it is...
2:04.6	I like hearing you say it.
2:05.6	You think my English accent would be commonplace enough that you wouldn't feel need to...
2:12.6	I thought this was about inclusion. I thought that's what the Federation was supposed to be about, but you're still making fun of my accent.
2:19.0	Is that comedy to you? Is that funny to you? It's not funny, and I'm not making fun of it. I like it, okay?
	...

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