Ep 161: My Husband Is Not My Best Friend

10 Things To Tell You

Laura Tremaine

Society & Culture, Unknown, Personal Journals

4.7 • 930 Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2023

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One of my core friendship philosophies is that my spouse is not my best friend. When I talk about this, people raise their eyebrows. Some assume our marriage is in trouble or that we're ill matched. It has become so common in romantic relationship culture to claim that you're married to your best friend that anything else seems unhealthy. But while my husband Jeff is the most important person in my life, he is NOT my best friend. He's my partner. My co parent. My lover. I have best friends, and those relationships are different. Early in our marriage, when I tried to make Jeff be my best friend, the pressure for him (and me) to be all things to one another was too much. We both needed and wanted lots of different types of relationships in our lives. Our marriage was stronger when we were closely connected to our friends. I write more about this in my new book The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs, but I wanted you to hear Jeff and I talk about it with each other. We don't have the exact same take on this topic, and our perspectives shift with age and in various seasons, as almost everything does. My hope is that this conversation will give you something to think about that counters the current cultural ideal that our partners have to be our best friends. Maybe it will become a talking point with YOUR partner or with your best friends. FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE SPONSORS: Prose // Go to Prose.com/YOU to take your free in-depth hair consultation quiz and get 15% off your first order HelloFresh // Go to HelloFresh.com/YOU65 and use code YOU65 for 65% off your first box plus free shipping SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine PREORDER: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Well, we started out as friends.
0:04.0	Yeah, we did.
0:08.0	I mean, one might even say we had a run there where we were like best friends
0:14.3	One might say that but we're not now I'm Laura Tremaine and I have 10 things to tell you.
0:32.6	And you have 10 things to tell.
0:36.0	This show is about connection with each other
0:38.8	and with ourselves.
0:40.2	And the hope is that the things we talk about here will be fuel for better conversations and a personal awareness.
0:46.4	Each episode has a prompt or a topic that I want you to take to your journal, text to a friend,
0:52.0	or share on social media using the hashtag 10
0:54.9	Things to Tell You. This is a show about digging deeper and sharing our stuff.
1:00.1	I'll go first.
1:10.0	My husband Jeff can be a man a few words and yet I insist on recording with him a few times a year for a few reasons.
1:15.0	One reason is because this podcast is many things,
1:19.0	including me sharing my life with you, and I cannot possibly share myself without
1:26.0	occasionally including the most important people in my life my family.
1:31.1	Another reason is that recording conversations with the people
1:34.7	closest to me, whether I ever share them publicly or not, it is a form of
1:39.4	documenting and if you've been around here for a while, you know how much I value documenting our lives,
1:46.8	through our journals, through our social media, through our photos and conversations.
1:52.2	But the real reason I wanted to have this particular
1:56.0	conversation with Jeff publicly is because of the topic. My husband is not my best friend. the philosophies that I write about in my new book, The Life Council, 10 Friends Every Woman
	...

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