Ep. 15: Fast Intimacy Now Or Build Deeper Intimacy Over Time?
The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
Natalie Lue
4.9 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 11 December 2015
⏱️ 37 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, Natalie explains how indecision over our boundary lines can cause us to accept the unacceptable, why we don't need to keep overspending to prove our worth, and explains the connection between a short-term mentality and commitment issues. This week's listener question is about what to do when you've been on a date or few and are not that interested, plus, Natalie shares why she's OK with taking her time to process stuff (even if others aren't).
Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This week what do you do when you've been on a date off you but you're not interested? |
| 0:08.7 | Plus what's the connection between a short-term mentality and commitment issues. I'm Natalie Lou, a writer based |
| 0:16.4 | in Southeast London who is dedicated to helping people to improve their emotional and relationship |
| 0:21.7 | literacy. Let's kick this off. |
| 0:27.0 | One of the things that becomes a parent when I talk to people who are in a relationship that's honest last legs or they are caught between |
| 0:36.1 | wanting to assess their boundaries but not wanting to offend is that some of us |
| 0:41.4 | really don't have a sense of what is okay for us. We are very unclear |
| 0:46.7 | about our boundaries. When I talk to people who are in these situations, one of the recurring themes is being stood up or kept waiting around. |
| 0:58.0 | So this is a case of when people just don't bother to show up at all, or person you know has arranged to meet and next thing you know an hour |
| 1:05.6 | two three four five six seven eight 24 even 48 hours has gone by and that person is not there and I hear from people who would wait in these situations. |
| 1:17.0 | And for a start it is completely outrageous for somebody to not only bother to show up but to not apologize for it to not |
| 1:24.6 | actually give a heads up to have such a lack of respect for a person that they |
| 1:30.0 | don't think to themselves wow I said I was going to meet at one and it's like |
| 1:34.5 | two o'clock now and I know that I'm supposed to be there. |
| 1:38.4 | Maybe I should give them a call. Maybe I should say, hey, I can't meet or let's meet at an alternative time. |
| 1:48.0 | We know when we are late. |
| 1:51.0 | And when we act as if we are that special that we don't need to dignify a person with an explanation, |
| 1:57.0 | when we act as if, yeah, it's okay for me to be like super late and just to keep that person wasting around, |
| 2:02.0 | we're showing a blatant disrespect for other |
| 2:03.8 | people's time. You know, we're saying, you know, I think that, you know, my time is more valuable |
| 2:09.0 | than yours. I think that it is perfectly okay for me to have you waiting around for me because I |
| 2:15.5 | think that I am that special. What is quite fascinating though in these situations |
... |
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