Denver, what's up? It's me, Tom Segura. This is my tour bus. It's so much nicer than

Berks. That doesn't matter. Anyway, I've had it a second show at Ball Arena on July 24th.

Get tickets right now. They're at Tom Segura.com slash tour. We're going to have a lot of fun.

I've got special guests, big surprises, and we will drink Cours all night, instead of

this bullshit coffee. She just wakes you much milk. What did this secret about your

check? Like, like, she, well, I mean, I don't know how much I can say, but she's

private. Yeah, she's cool. She's, uh, she's an open casket, but she's, uh, she likes insults

and be mean to me and hold me down and, you know, really degrade. It's bad. The

one time we were fucking in, you know, call me a whore or call me a slut, call me a, tell

me I'm this and I was like, ah, you fucking. That didn't go overwhelmed. 100%.

I agree. Tom is fat and racist. What a great way to start an episode. Mark, do we get

Mark statement there? Ladies and gentlemen, guest bear today, Mark Normand. Hey, good

to be Mark Normand. Woo boy. We're both hurting. It's like we, we fuck last night. It's

awkward. I'm hungover. I'm gay. I'm pushing through. I got three hours of sleep. Can I

tell you what fucking makes me so frustrated? Uh, you're, is, is, is no, you made us know

we're talking about last night. Okay. Okay. Gabe at moving. I thought you're going to

talk about your impotence. Well, we're going to, we're going to push through. I, so like,

it's like I met you before my wife, my wife's friends, John Mann's, my cameraman and my

assistant Peter, right? Yeah. I met you before all of them. Oh, yeah. I introduced you

to all of them. Yes. And all they do is tell me how funny you are. And I go, yeah,

you wouldn't know if it wasn't for me. Like, it's so fucking frustrating. And they're

like, they're like, no, you, Lance said I go, what I'm doing at two berries guest with Mark

...