The New York Times, a former newspaper, has obtained a document from the Democrat Party,

outlining their plan to spend $20 million in an effort to win back male voters.

The effort is being hailed as a continuation of the great Democrat tradition of wasting money

without even beginning to solve a problem created by their own stupid ideas.

The document entitled How to Make Toxic Men Love Us, Even as We Castrate Their Sons and Turn

Their Women into Fractious Hors, includes a collection of ideas from a diverse committee of

women, black women, men pretending to be black women, and feminists who are sort of like women, only

feminist. The effort is being hailed as a continuation of the great Democrat tradition of

forming committees on the basis of diversity and thus laying the groundwork for a hilarious

catastrophe that was predictable to everyone except a diverse committee. To add an international flavor

to the committee, the Democrats reached out to French president

Emmanuel Macron, who said, quote, I think in order to properly study men we need to,

but he couldn't finish because his wife smacked him in the face.

At the heart of the Democrats' effort is an attempt to learn how to speak to potential male voters

by studying liberal men

in their native habitats like gay bars in the ballet. This attempt comes on the heels of the

failed presidential campaign of what's her name, that cackling semi-black girl, who chose

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate because of his ability to code switch from talking

like a homosexual serial killer to talking like a homosexual serial killer trying to sound like a

regular guy. In the wake of that failure, the Democrats hope to learn how to communicate with men

online by quote, and my hand to God, this is a real quote, studying the syntax, language, and content

that gains attention and virality in men's spaces. So, for instance, instead of just bluntly

...