Ep 118: You Can't Go Home Again Because Your Planet Was Destroyed

Improvised Star Trek

USS Sisyphus

Improv, Comedy

4.9 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 17 August 2015

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

While Fritz is in the doghouse, Commander Hayes needs to fill in as chief engineer, but who will step up as First Officer? Meanwhile, Lorem meets some lovely cave people.

Guest starring Katy Schutte as Commander Eleanor, and Tony Harrisment as Ensign Price.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Today's episode of Improvised Star Trek is sponsored by Jackbox Games.
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0:30.1	Lieutenant energized.
0:33.7	I energized it.
0:34.6	Commander Fassbender.
0:35.1	Yeah.
0:36.7	Why are you running the transporter?
0:37.8	I'm taking some new duties around the ship.
0:53.7	I didn't even look at you. I just walked in here and said lieutenant energized. Actually, I'm currently not allowed in engineering. What happened? Me and the wife got into trouble. So she's designated that I can't go on parts of her. Oh. One of them being the engineering. That is where you work, though.
0:54.3	What?
0:55.6	You're the chief engineer?
0:54.3	Yeah, you're going to have to do something about that. Oh. One of them being the engineering. That is where you work, though. What?
0:55.6	You're the chief engineer?
1:10.0	Yeah, you're going to have to do something about that. Commander? Yes, Captain. Can you assign a new chief engineer? Oh, okay. Yes, sure. I thought for a second there you were going to make me chief engineer. Oh, do you want to be chief engineer for a while? That's a good idea. he knows nothing about engineering.
1:12.2	I mean, you better know something about engineering. Well, of course I know.
1:13.0	I know tons of stuff about engineering.
1:14.7	I've lived a lot of... Do you want to be chief engineer for a while? That's a good idea. He knows nothing about engineering. I mean, you better know something about engineering.
1:12.2	Well, of course, I know. I know tons of stuff about engineering. I've lived on Starships forever. Yeah, I'm chief engineer now. Excuse me, sir. I'm going to be in engineering. Good luck with this beaming stuff you've got going on. Not my department anymore. Craig Watson to Captain Baxter.
1:27.5	This is Captain Baxter.
1:28.5	Captain Baxter, I just got a text message on my tricorder that says I've been promoted to commander. Is that an auto alert? Yeah, it auto alerts. Any time that Corby might gets demoted, imprisoned, or killed, I get a text message saying I've been promoted to commanders. Well, he's temporarily taking care of engineering, but it's still a commander. Okay, I just want you to know that just in the last 15 seconds since I've been commander, I laid off half the crew and replaced another quarter of the crew with robots. You're not a commander, and get rid of those robots. Isn't the second in commander after the number two, the guitar center guy?
	...

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