This is infants on thrones.

Minnesot.

Minnesot.

Ynesot. Yay! The morning break. The leaves are turning, the

turning, the nights are drawing in, and that can only mean one thing.

It's conference time again. From the shadows of the everlasting hills, or somewhere

of that sort, comes our twice yearly potpourri of slumber-worthy sermonizing and fallacious fundamentalist faith-mother.

But what if the conference fairy godmother came to grant the deepest wishes of

liberal Mormons across the Bloggernacle.

What if these wishes were manifested in one scintillating talk?

And what if that talk was imparted by the old jowly bulldog of the Corum himself?

And what if he spat his lyrical flow to some sick beats?

Well, the result might sound a little something like this. I begin tonight with these three brief citations that could blast a crater in their brains forever.

Please do not hyperventilate.

That is language God uses when he means business.

I've had a revelation for our dispensation

is going out to every nation.

I make a special thunderous declaration.

God is going to ordain women.

He told me in that vision,

let it be understood that the priesthood

should do good for all our neighborhood.

...