This episode is brought to you by Slack. With Slack, you can bring all your people and

tools together in one place. It's your digital HQ where you can increase productivity,

enable flexibility and automate workflows. Plus, Slack is full of game-changing features

like huddles for quick check-ins or Slack Connect, which helps you connect with partners

inside and outside of your company. Slack, where the future works. Get started at

Slack.com slash DHQ. President Trump has given orders to formally begin the transition

process with President-elect Joe Biden. The process will include stocking the resolute

desks with crayons, turning video camera settings to include subtitles so people can understand

what the hell Biden is talking about, and of course teaching White House employees not

to laugh when the new president babbles in coherently or can't find his way back to

bed from the bathroom. The nation meanwhile will prepare for the transition by practicing

having less money and by watching the news with their jaws on their chest as reporters

are miraculously transformed from raging beasts challenging the president's every assertion

to cuddly, chod-of-like little creatures reminiscent of the Ewoks and the Star Wars movie, except

without testicles or brains. President Trump wants to be careful to maintain American

tradition, and so having graciously permitted the transition to continue, he will now order

the FBI to start bugging Joe Biden's phone and the CIA to leak damaging disinformation

to the press while news anchors wear serious faces even as they may hilariously absurd assertions

about the incoming president and compare him to Hitler for no discernible reason.

Some Democrats and journalists, but I repeat myself, have objected to the process. Congressman

Adam Schiff announced, quote, it is absolutely disgraceful that the president should stoop

to using the tactics of Democrats by harassing and investigating the new president. If he is

...