I'm going through a breakup right now, and I'll be honest, it sucks.

But breakups always suck, right?

Like, I've never been through an easy breakup.

Even when I think back to my most inconsequential relationship, it was three or four months

long and we didn't love each other.

Even that breakup sucked.

But I will say this particular breakup was better in some ways because even though this was

not an inconsequential relationship, this was an incredibly serious relationship that was two

years long. We really deeply loved each other. The way it ended was so pleasant that I think

that's why I'm able to talk about it without crying right now.

You know, it's only been a week and I can talk about it. But it's because it was mutual.

We communicated and got closure and we've decided to remain friends. It was as perfect as a breakup

could possibly be. But it's still tough. But what does this

mean for me? Well, now I'm single. And being single for me is interesting because I haven't been

single much in my life. Since I was 17, I've been dating pretty consistently. I've had

quite a few boyfriends, but I've had very short breaks in

between, meaning I haven't really been single. And so it's a little bit daunting to be in this place now

where I'm single again. And this time, I know I should be single for a little bit longer than two or three

months. I think this time I need to be

single for like a year. I know that in my gut and I know it's right, but it's daunting. After every

relationship in the past, I would immediately start searching for the next person. And at this point in

my life, I understand why I did that. At the time, I didn't really notice what I was doing. I wasn't really self-reflecting.

...