E234: Tie Breakers: Passwords, Period Sex, and Passenger Princesses (We’re Settling It Once and for All)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we’re bringing back one of our favorite games, Tie-Breakers! You sent in the recurring arguments that pop up again and again in your relationship — the ones that never seem to die no matter how many times you talk about them — and now we’re stepping in to make the final call. From sharing phone passwords to whether it’s really that big of a deal to be 5–10 minutes late, we’re tackling the everyday debates that drive couples just a little bit nuts. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: The difference between boundaries and control especially when it comes to what your partner wears. Why couples fight about tiny habits (like dishes or unpacking) and what those arguments really mean. How to handle when one partner wants more privacy and the other wants full transparency. What your “clean-up style” says about how you handle responsibility in bed and in life. The psychology behind “small stuff” fights and how to stop them from snowballing. Plus, the ultimate showdown on period sex, post-oral kissing, and who should drive. 😏 If you and your partner love to debate, this one’s for you — equal parts funny, spicy, and “oh my god, that’s us.” Go deeper Want to know exactly what’s keeping you and your partner stuck (and how to fix it)? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to discover your intimacy type and get a personalized roadmap to better connection, communication, and pleasure inside our membership, Deeper. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys 💞Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Nature's Sunshine. Use the code PILLOW at check out to get 20% off your first order plus free shipping ➡︎https://www.naturessunshine.com 👏Thanks Chewy. Send your pet’s wish to and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need. ➡︎https://Chewy.com/ChewyClaus 👏Thanks HungryRoot. For a limited time, use code PILLOW to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. ➡︎http://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cure. Use code PILLOW for 20% off your first order ➡︎http://curehydration.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Should you share phone passwords with your partner, yes or no, Xander?
0:06.2	All right. Should he be able to tell me what I can wear when we go out? He does this all the time.
0:11.1	Kissing after he goes down on me. It's a no for me but a yes for him. Oh, ho. How big of a deal is it to be five to ten minutes late? It bothers my husband to no end.
0:22.2	I don't think it's a huge deal.
0:24.0	Should we clean the kitchen at night or in the morning?
0:27.2	Well, this is a real just straight up hot tape.
0:35.4	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:38.3	We're your host, Vanessa and Zander Marin.
0:41.3	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:44.3	And I'm just a regular dude.
0:46.3	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:51.3	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of
0:54.6	totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what
1:00.5	really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education
1:05.9	you wish you'd had. Today we are back with one of our favorite games that we've actually only ever played
1:14.6	once on the podcast.
1:16.4	Yeah, pin the tail on the donkey.
1:18.2	Yes.
1:20.7	That would be the worst podcast episode.
1:23.7	I don't know.
1:24.3	That was the first thought that came to my mind.
1:27.6	I'm also really proud that I got to say that because we this is actually our second take
	...

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