E233: Our Most Viral Tips (That Actually Changed People’s Sex Lives)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 6 November 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Whether you’ve been with us from the start or just found the podcast, this episode is basically a cheat sheet for a better sex life. We pulled together the best of the best from hundreds of episodes — the tips, tools, and “aha” moments that have completely transformed our community’s sex lives. From the rule that saved our date nights to the mindset shifts that made intimacy feel easy again, we’re revisiting the advice that started it all. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: Why the “F*** First Rule” might be the simplest way to rekindle connection. What the Bristle Reaction really means and how to retrain your body to want touch again. How to figure out your desire type (and why that might finally solve your mismatched libido issue). The sneaky reason your sex life might feel “meh” and how to make it worth craving again. Honorable mentions like the First Pancake Rule, scheduling sex, and other hot takes we might just turn into full episodes soon. 👀 If you’ve ever thought, “Where do I even start?” when it comes to improving your sex life… start here. Go deeper 💞 Want to know exactly what’s keeping you and your partner stuck (and how to fix it)? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to discover your intimacy type and get a personalized roadmap to better connection, communication, and pleasure inside our membership, Deeper. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! TIMESTAMPS 00:00 - Intro 04:05 F*ck First Rule 18:42 Bristle Reaction 26:03 We make out every night 32:42 Two Types of Desire 40:15 Emotional Physical Conundrum 50:00 Mushy Broccoli Problem ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOWTALKS to get up to 20% off.And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks Blissy. Get better sleep, hair and skin with Blissy and use PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. ➡︎https://blissy.com/pillowpod 👏Thanks OneSkin. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code PILLOW ➡︎https://oneskin.co/HAIR Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Let's chat about
0:01.5	Mushy broccoli.
0:03.0	The mushy broccoli problem.
0:04.5	Let's talk vegetables.
0:05.8	You are not eating enough vegetables.
0:07.9	I mean, that's probably true.
0:09.8	Yeah, true.
0:10.5	It's not quite what this podcast is about.
0:12.8	That would be funny if we just made a hard pivot.
0:15.6	Yeah, into like nutrition.
0:17.5	Yeah, we actually have a broccoli sponsor we want to tell you about.
0:21.6	The broccoli lobby. The broccoli lobby is on board with pillow talks. We're pushing cruciferous
0:27.0	veg. Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.
0:39.8	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude. We share the
0:44.9	ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:50.1	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical
0:55.1	relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom
1:00.8	doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
1:07.5	So we had the idea recently that it'd be fun to create a best of episode. I think
1:13.3	podcasts are always tricky because for new people who are coming in, you're kind of like,
1:18.2	I don't really know where to start.
1:20.2	Yeah, where the heck do we start?
	...

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