E228: Breaking Down A Real-Life Text Fight (pt 2.)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 October 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You’ve been there: the dreaded text fight. One message gets misread, emotions spike, and suddenly you’re both typing paragraphs instead of actually talking. In this episode, we’re breaking down a real-life text fight between a couple navigating mismatched sex drives, rejection, and the heavy mental load of parenting. You’ll hear the raw back-and-forth and get our thoughts on what worked, what didn’t, and how to move these conversations toward connection instead of conflict. 💛 In this episode, you’ll learn: Why so many couples end up fighting about sex over text (and why it almost never goes well). Why text is the worst place to argue (and how to get out of the spiral). The hidden emotional needs behind “yes” and “no.” How to express hurt feelings without slipping into blame. How to validate your partner without abandoning your own boundaries. Communication tips that will help you feel heard and understood — even in the heat of the moment. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a text fight with your partner, this one’s for you. 👉 Ready to uncover your unique intimacy blueprint? Take our free Intimacy Quiz and learn the key that drives your connection: 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/5keys 🎧 Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ @vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and plenty of sex puns. Sign up here 👉 https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods. ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Nature's Sunshine. Use the code PILLOW at check out to get 20% off your first order plus free shipping ➡︎https://www.naturessunshine.com 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first box of wild-caught, sustainable seafood—delivered right to your door. ➡︎https://www.wildalaskan.com/pillow 👏Thanks Chewy. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping. ➡︎https://chewpanions.chewy.com/vanessandxander 👏Thanks Remi. Use code PILLOW at checkout for 50% off. ➡︎https://shopremi.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	We have all had bad behavior and we have all, including us,
0:04.0	including us.
0:05.0	Probably in the last week.
0:06.0	Yeah, not communicated well, just not done a great job.
0:10.0	So I always like to say that because it's easy to read over another couple's argument and be like,
0:15.0	oh my God, why did you put it that way?
0:17.0	Why didn't you say it like this?
0:19.0	You obviously shouldn't have done that.
0:20.0	But when you're in the moment, when emotions are high, like, it's very easy for us to make
0:25.6	mistakes. We're all human. So I just want to give this couple some grace that they're human too.
0:36.9	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:40.3	We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.
0:43.0	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:46.0	And I'm just a regular dude.
0:47.6	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques
0:51.7	for improving yours.
0:53.3	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,
0:58.0	practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind
1:03.3	closed bedroom doors, and so much more.
1:06.1	It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
1:10.5	Today we're bringing back one of my favorite...
1:14.4	Segments?
	...

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