I thought he was a cannibal.

We're not going to do a beastiality angle, too.

You guys just go straight to 10.

Well, he's a bad guy.

How else are we going to make it clear that he's Alabaster Darkheart?

His name is Alabaster Darkheart.

He shows up to the door not wearing pants.

We've established his bad guy credentials.

We don't need more bad guy stuff than that.

All right? What we need is stuff that will keep the blame off of us.

Because one thing I know, and I'm looking up right now on my phone, the valuation of those

dirty Bruce Springsteen jeans was 11 million.

It also says in this article that if the jeans were ever to be washed, the value would go down to

$1 million.

All right?

That's still pretty good for a pair of jeans.

Well, it's a net loss of $10 million that will be our responsibility.

So we actually have to make sure that our lie is fucking airtight.

And right now, you guys are not making an airtight

at all. What about this? We're out back on like the, like the dock, right? The big dock,

we're all relaxing in the sun with our hard rock seltzers and our Baha Blast popsicles.

We are soaking in the sun and joining our time at his Lake Tahoe Lake House

...