Welcome to Nobody Told Me. I'm Jan Black. And I'm Laura Owens. What's it like to be a gay man in America today? How is it different for gay men today compared with those

of previous generations? Our guest on this episode, Perry Halquitos, is the author of the new book

Out in Time, The Public Lives of Gay Men from Stonewall to the Queer Generation. Perry is

dean and professor at the School of Public Health at Rutgers

University and a longstanding advocate for the health of the LGBT population. Perry, thank you so

much for joining us today. Thank you for having me. So talk to us about why you decided to write

your new book out in time. So the book was inspired by a personal story and a personal

experience in my life. My cousin's son, James, came out to me and my husband about two years

ago. And, you know, for all intents and purposes, I thought his coming out process should be easy

because my family had been nothing but loving and kind and supportive my entire life.

And yet here was this young man at, you know, 18 years old who should, like all indications

that have had an easy time coming out, struggled with it.

He struggled reconciling his identity.

He struggled telling people.

He struggled finding his place in the world.

And what that made me realize is for this young man, a young man, a young white man from an upper middle class background,

is having so much difficulty.

A young man who comes from a family that has no indication of homophobia, that has no indication that they stigmatized gay people has a hard time.

Then what is it like for so many others.

And so what that told me is that the experience of coming out is a psychological process that cuts across time,

and it doesn't matter if it's 1969 or 2019.

But don't you think it is a lot easier in so many ways to do it in 2019 than it was in 1969?

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