Dr. Maya Shankar: Does Change Make You Feel Lost Or Uncertain? (Use THIS Framework To Find Direction Again and Use Change to Upgrade Your Life!)
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.7 • 30.5K Ratings
🗓️ 11 February 2026
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We often think change will make sense once we get to the other side, but what if the real work of change is learning how to stay present in the uncertainty itself?
Today, Jay sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar to explore why unexpected change feels so threatening, and why losing what we thought our life would look like can feel like losing ourselves. From a career-ending injury early in her life to deeply personal losses later on, Maya reflects on how life’s unexpected turns can quietly reshape how we see ourselves, our worth, and our place in the world.
Maya explains that one of the biggest mistakes we make during change is tying our self-worth to roles, titles, or outcomes. When those fall away, it can feel deeply destabilizing. Instead, she invites us to root our identity in something more stable: our “why.” The deeper reasons behind what we love—connection, service, growth, creativity. When we stay connected to those, we can move through change without losing ourselves. Jay reflects on how often we seek external validation and why redefining success during loss is essential for resilience.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Handle Change You Didn’t Choose
How to Anchor Your Self-Worth Beyond External Success
How to Find Your “Why” When Life Falls Apart
How to Rebuild Yourself After a Dream Ends
How to Grow into the Person Change Is Shaping You To Be
If you’re going through a season of change right now, remember this: you’re not broken for struggling with it. Change is meant to shake us, to slow us down, and to make us question who we are beyond our titles, plans, and expectations.
A quietly powerful read about resilience and reinvention by Maya Shankar, The Other Side of Change invites you to meet yourself again when life takes an unexpected turn - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:11 How Change Has Shaped Your Life
04:52 Why Does Change Feel So Scary?
11:45 Why We Tie Our Identity to What We Do
16:25 What Awaits on the Other Side of Change
24:47 Using Self-Affirmation to Stay Grounded
30:51 Finding Gratitude in Who You Become
39:31 Maya on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Maya Shankar | https://mayashankar.com/
Maya Shankar | https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar
Maya Shankar | https://x.com/slightchangepod
A Slight Change of Plans | https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast, guaranteed human. |
| 0:05.0 | One of the biggest reasons why change is so scary is that it can threaten our self-identity. |
| 0:09.6 | One way to have a more secure self-identity is to anchor yourself, not simply to what you do, but to why you do that thing. |
| 0:19.1 | So first of all, I want to say I'm really grateful to be here with my very, |
| 0:23.0 | very dear friend, Dr. Maya Shankar. We've been friends for like maybe four or five years now. |
| 0:30.7 | And honestly, beyond her incredible resume, incredible list of achievements, continued excellence in everything she does. |
| 0:41.3 | She's just truly one of the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful humans. |
| 0:45.1 | And so the fact that you've all come out here tonight to support her and hopefully get a book, |
| 0:50.8 | or you've already got it. |
| 0:51.9 | How many of you have already got the book? |
| 0:54.1 | Okay, all of you who didn't put your hand up, I want you to get a book or you've already got it. How many of you have already got the book? Okay, all of you who didn't put your hand up, I want you to get a book by the end of this. |
| 1:00.8 | Truly, I'm just so grateful to be here. She's the kindest, most generous, sweet, loving, |
| 1:05.6 | wonderful human being and I'm so happy to be here supporting you. So congratulations, my own. |
| 1:13.6 | Thank you so much, Jay. It is such an utter delight to be in conversation with you about this topic. And I'm so grateful for |
| 1:21.2 | your friendship. So thank you. Thank you. Well, this book that you wrote, the other side of |
| 1:25.6 | change, I find it such a fascinating topic and read |
| 1:31.0 | because I feel like there's two types of change. One is the change that you choose and the other |
| 1:39.1 | is the change that chooses you. How many of you like it when you decide to change? How many of you like it when |
| 1:48.3 | change chooses you? Yeah, exactly. That's like the worst. It's like the worst feeling ever. |
| 1:54.7 | It's like what? Like why did this happen right now? Like I, you know, it's and that's like a daily |
| 2:00.5 | occurrence for anyone on planet Earth. Why did this happen right now? Like I, you know, it's, and that's like a daily occurrence for anyone on planet |
| 2:02.8 | Earth. Why did this happen now? Why did this happen to me? What's going on? When will this change? |
... |
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