Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Baylif Jesse Thorne.

This week, don't call the next witness.

Kira brings the case against her mother, Tanya.

Tanya hates talking on the phone.

She doesn't even have a phone anymore.

But Kira is worried about Tanya's safety and also wants to be able to call her.

Who's right?

Who's wrong?

Only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural

reference.

You understand, because you are from here, that this is a state full of people who don't

want to see or talk to other people.

Now you've been down there in Brookline for a while, where everyone enjoys a good jaw.

But your sister has moved back to a place where if she never sees another person, that's

a good thing.

And she's working specifically in a work environment where it is encouraged that no one ever speak.

That said, I'm going to make you make them speak right now, Baylif Jesse Thorne, swear

to them in.

See Tanya, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you

...