I'm the cool dad. That's, that's my thing.

I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and undependent.

I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved. I need to be desired.

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy.

Welcome to Dear Old Dads, a podcast that's all balls and no chains. I'm Tom Curry. I'm joined as always by Thomas Smith and Eli Bosnick, four out of six balls, not operational, by the

way. I was going to say, that was the intro for after my vasectomy, Tom. It's one of mine and one

of Eli's. That's the weird thing. Yeah. How's that vasectomy appointment coming there,

Thomas three kids? Oh, yeah, remember how I had to click a button and it didn't work? Yeah, still, that still happened the time I did it. I'm going to have to fly out there and be like, all right, man, I'm making your appointments. Give me her, be like, just like, hey, hey,ly, be like, all right, just tell me what you need. Give me your phone. I'll make all your appointments. Just so you know, I refuse to celebrate the fourth kid. I refuse.

When you do the announcement, I'm going to be like, cool.

If we have a fourth kid, it will be like the 1800s and it was out of wedlock.

Like it's going to be, we won't tell anybody.

Yeah, that's a shame. The fourth one is a shame kid.

You better send him to the wall because a four-kid family,

four-kid family, you should just buy them a pack of condoms as a baby gift and be like,

here you go.

I guess you don't know about these.

There's this brand new technology that your family doesn't know about because you're

breeding like the Amish, so here you go.

Oh, boy. Yep. Yeah. Now we're, Eli and are just left. We're just left with show balls. That's just, they're just show balls. They're here. And fantastic ones they are. Can I say my show balls pristine? The judges at those dog park things, they come up. They feel me too. They should judge them up a little bit as they say during that procedure. Like, oh, do you want them flatten? Unwrinkle the ball sack? Yeah, we'd love that. Give them a nice polish. Can you make them glean? A little, like make them more round. Like they're perfectly spherical now. Yeah. Not one hanging lower than the other now.

That'd be great.

I want to bedazzle him. Can we bedazzle him? Like, I want to be like a fucking disco ball. Here we go. Shine a light. Glitter unicorn on the sack. It's great. Get a fucking Lisa Frank design like it's a goddamn 80s trapper keeper down there. Tattoo an arrow pointing to my taint with a little text next to it that says only if you mean it.

Okay, but I have said that I'm not going to do after I do the vasectomy, if that ever, if you did the butt never works, then I ever log in again. I've said I'm not going to do the cum test. Wait, what? Yeah. You're just not going to do it? No, why do it? Who cares? Because you want to know what are the odds? It worked. No, here's nothing.

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