Recently, I was approached by somebody that I knew, but I really didn't know him very well. We had circled around each other for the past few years, and we would say hi to each other on occasion. And this is one of those people that you just decide that you like because they are likable. You don't really know them, but you like them. So when this person, and let's just call him Stan, but that is absolutely not his name. But when Stan approached me and he said that he had started of binging on my podcasts.

What typically comes next is a specific but that is absolutely not his name. But when Stan approached me and he said that he had started binging on my podcasts,

what typically comes next is a specific question about an episode.

And so I'm already prepping myself to let Stan know that I record the podcast off the cuff,

maybe with a note or two, an outline.

And that I don't necessarily remember specific things that I said or,

and then Stan hits me with this gym. He said, I really resonate with what you say about you're not broken, you're human, you're the only version of you with your nature and your nurture, your birth order, your DNA, all of those things. Because he said, I often feel like, yeah, I am broken or what's wrong with me. So he said, I love it. And I'm even moving on to aggressively trying to discover my values. And he said, you're right. As soon as I start expressing my values to those people around me, I'm starting to be told that I really don't think that or I really don't think this. Or one friend said, but you've always said that you didn't really care about wanting to sing in public that you'd realize that was just a childhood fantasy. So you're kind of giving up on that, right? And Stan said that he realized that he's been trying to convince himself that certain things that he'd always wanted to do or the person that he always wanted to be. Well, those things weren't true about him because he wasn't doing them. So yeah, he was starting to tell everybody around him, yeah, I guess those things don't really matter. Those are just childhood fantasies or dreams. But then he said in binging on the podcast, he's realized that there were a lot of things that he wanted to do. And there was a person who he wanted to be, but he's been so wrapped up in wanting everybody around him,

especially the people who depended on him, to tell him that it would be okay for him to explore

these different parts of himself or these different areas of his life, but that the only

person who really needed to give himself permission to be himself was him. So why on earth is

that so difficult when he wants to go after certain things in his life or Or if he wants to try to be a little bit more of a person that he's always dreamt of being, then why does he get met with invalidation? Why is he told by people around him that really don't even know where he's coming from that say, well, you don't really want to do that or I didn't know you thought that. That seems

kind of weird or odd. And he talked about being a successful approaching middle age, whatever that

means these days, man, who then could still just go right into a victim mode when somebody said,

ooh, I wouldn't do that. And he found himself still saying, yeah, you're probably right. I wouldn't

do that either.

So coming up on today's episode of The Virtual Couch,

I'm going to give Stan and the rest of you a little bit of wisdom on what I personally believe is absolutely essential in order to truly find purpose and living a more meaningful life.

That and a lot more coming up on today's episode of The Virtual Couch.

Come on in and take a seat on the virtual couch.

Hey, everybody.

Welcome to episode 317 of the virtual couch.

I am your host, Tony Overbay.

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