What up, my homie? Oh my god, we are back and we are ready to pick up just where we left off

within insanely amazing Laura Richards. Now, if part one gave you the chills, the propel yourself because we're about to go even deeper into the world of psychopaths, coercive controllers who are the master manipulators and more importantly, how we can identify and break free from them. Now, this goes all the way from just that toxic guy in your life that that maybe you know, that maybe shunament,

you play you all the way from just that toxic guy in your life that maybe you know,

that maybe you want to manipulate you all the way to how they escalate, how they get to even crazier into potential stalking and then how stalking sometimes actually ends up in murder. Guys, this is crazy. I am not a Debbie Downer. I am the person that is going to show up and bring you the content that you need in order to protect yourself because way too many women are getting trapped.

And hell no, not on my watch, not here, not on women of impact.

So let's go, let's break free. Let's dive in right now. I think it could be very useful for the people watching to kind of have this checklist. And then I would love to go into coercive control and how coercive control really is almost the beginning to the trap that we're talking about. So you have to link these things together. A psychopath doesn't just do one thing, they're always looking, they're always on the make, they're always looking for the next target, the next thing that they're doing. So that's where criminal versatility comes in. They would do lots of different things. John Mehan is very interested because many police forces investigated him here in America. No one joined up all his serial offending behavior until one female detective got involved. But he knew how to work the system. So even on one of the times after an assault, he turns up to court, female judge. And he says, oh, I've got dogs, and I haven't sorted them out. So I understand you're going to put send me to jail,

but can you just give me a day to just get my dog sorted out?

Well, everyone loves animals, don't they? So she's like, okay, I'll give you 23 hours and that's what she gave him. And he's wreaked havoc in those 23 hours. So he understood the system very well. He'd never served time, hard time, even the short sentence

that he had on that occasion.

He came out of prison.

And that's when he met Debra Newell. And the night afterwards, he was on a dating site, put a picture up of him wearing scrubs with a tan and meets Debra, they end up going on a date, or can I come back to yours? And she says, yes. Wow. So the versatility that they're just, they're getting arrested, they're getting off, they're getting arrested, just is an indication that they have zero respect for the law or for anything that goes beyond what they care about and want. Correct. Yeah. And sometimes it might look quite small with John, it was drugs. You know, he was a drug addict and he was was using, and he was stealing from the hospital. And we suspect there were multiple murders as well. Wow. That we just don't know about. Well, at the time, weren't investigated as murders, like his father. Oh, what? And his brother, who he was sending drugs to, and the possibility, yes, of other women. And none of this came out until he became the official dirty John that we all know? Correct. Wow. They all believed his story because he sound is so plausible. And that's always the challenge. Do you really know who you're living with? And the minute you get that inkling something's off, which Tonya did, then follow it. And that's why the coercive control law is so important. For there to be a law for men like him, that is the crime, the entrapment, the threats. I mean, Deborah couldn't even get a restraining order. Couldn't even get a protective order, which is just bonkers. And there was no officer joining up all his history across the states in America. And that's part of the work I've been doing on serial perpetrators, of why aren't we joining up serial domestic abusers and stalkers, and having their data and their information all on one database, like sex offenders and terrorists, because these men are terrorists, they terrorise many women and children, and we don't do anything to stop that. Yeah. God, there's so much there. The idea of this coming out only because something even more horrific happened is horrified. And in your story as you were talking, I was just like going back to this list of how many things that he has done that is on your list. I mean, lack of remorse and guilt, conning and lack of sincerity, short tempered, poor behavioural control, early behaviour problems, impulsivity, lack of realistic or long-term plans, like all of these things really do highlight if we know what to look out for, then maybe we can start to protect ourselves.

So apart from this list as well, you've spoken about many times in this talk about coercive

control.

From what I understand and I'd love for you to explain more, it's the master manipulation

that no one sees coming, that if you speak up about it, people just think, oh, you're

going crazy, what are you talking about?

That's part of the master of the trap.

So what are the things that make up coercive control? What are the actions? And then how is that the master trap for us women? Yeah, our excellent question. And that's what's missing of the psychopathy checklist. There are Dr. Robert Hayer has 20 traits, but parent control and coercive control. That is the motivation of the psychopath. And we have to make this connection when it happens. and a coercive control or who... o'r cyntrol, mae'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol o'r cyntrol and I said, and that is true, Deborah. So I have to be very clear when I work with people, I don't sugarcoat things, I am a very direct communicator. If someone is too good to be true, do your due diligence. Often they really try and increase like ability through the charm approach. You know, you're not like other women. You're just incredible. They will give you everything that you value that makes you feel amazing and you feel so special, you feel so seen by this person. It's like it was meant to be Laura. He just knew things and we just matched across. It was like we were meant to be together and they will say that too. They will keep repeating those things back. Let's say six months down the line because honeymoon does, it does tend to be in that six month window, right? There might be a change and I- a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio And then she met this guy called Triman Harry Dylan and he was in the military. And my first question, once I understood the case was how did they meet, he found her on Facebook going through his friends' friends and he sent her a message and he said, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I would love to talk to you. So Alice feels special, right? So that's a prime example. You feel special, you feel seen. Before you go on, would it be specifically work more on people that aren't obviously beautiful? Because if you're really beautiful and you get it every single day, you'll be like, ah, thank you, and move on. Is that part of the trap? Yeah, I mean, it can be. It's tailor-made. So you're exactly right to pick up at that point. So whatever it is that they see that you value. Right. They will tailor make it to that.

And that's what that you value.

Right. They will tailor make it to that. And that's what makes Coercer Control and Psychopath so dangerous. It's idiosyncratic. The same thing never repeats over and over. So that's a really good pick-up point. And that's why every case has to be looked at on its own merit. So for Alice, yes, she was attractive. but he really leaned into that. She was young just finishing university so not much life experience in terms of day i'n gweithio. Mae'n yw'r aylis, mae'n ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy'r ei fwy like, wow, your nose is really big. Has anyone ever said that to you before? And so she's kind of like, oh, that feels really incongruent to all the other things. She doesn't think that rationally, but of course it feels very jarring. And then he says things like, your arms are really hairy. Has anyone ever said that? Why, God, your arms are so hairy. He would pick up like things that just made Alice feel just so horrible about herself. And he would be jealous of her spending time with friends and he would try and monopolize her time. So he would change from being this charming guy to then layering in these things which left her feeling very confused, but her personality started to change. And her family and friends noticed that. She was becoming withdrawn. She didn't want to go out. There were always these arguments between them. So within a six-month window, it was very evident to family friends, but they didn't ask. When women start to lose weight, you get complemented. We shouldn't complement. We should find out the reason why they're losing weight. She was losing weight because of him. And he does end up after she has rejected him, he decides that he's going to kill her,

a premeditated murder, and stabs her many times.

And her best friend finds her dead.

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