Your mind does not care if what you tell is good, bad, true, false, healthy, unhealthy, right or wrong. It accepts and acts on your words regardless. Okay, this quote from today's moment of impact really hits home. With all of us being isolated and quarantined, we are with our thoughts a lot. And so what we tell ourselves and the words we use matter. And so today's guess is here to tell us exactly what methods and tools we can use. She's going to show us, like Superman harnessing power from the Sun, how we can use the power of our own minds to gain mental and emotional strength during this time. And with over 30 years of expertise in psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and neurolinguistic programming. This woman definitely knows a thing or two thousand about how we take control of our thoughts in order to get the results we are looking for in our lives. Bestselling author of not one, not two, but five books and named Best British Therapist by Men's Health magazine, as well as voted the most successful therapist on Celebrity Fit Club, UK and USA. Yep, her list of accomplishments runs longer than the River Tems. With three decades of treating clients from school teachers to parents to international superstars, CEO's royalty and Olympic athletes, this woman has gone on to win countless awards, including eight Stevie Awards for groundbreaking rapid transformation therapy, the RTT method. So guys, put the kettle on, grab a spot at E and your biscuits, get comfy because this speaker, expert, author, entrepreneur and global phenomenon is about to get real. My fellow homey from the motherland, the great British pioneer, Marissa Peer.

I'm Lisa Villu and I went from housewife to co-founder of the Billion Dollar Company of Questiony Trition and now President of Impact Theory. Our mission with this show is to empower you and all women to recognise that you really can become the hero of your own life. Welcome to Women of Impact. Welcome to the show, girl. Thank you. That was quite a welcome. I love the tea and biscuits. That's a good piece. That was good. I tuned into that. What you say in your message is so freaking powerful. There's so many things I could touch upon, but really, I really want to make a topical for what people are dealing with right now at home. And you talk very eloquently about imprint. And you actually say that the mind is always switched on. It records everything and it never forgets. And the reason why I want to start that there is because right now we are all making an imprint of what the coronavirus means to us, what it means to be a stay at home, means to be isolated. And so I want to talk through how we, how imprint works and how we can actually make sure that the imprint that we're doing right now is actually for the positive and not for the negative. Yeah, and that's such a good, that's such a great question. And just a little tiny basic understanding of human psychology makes it so much

easy because it's very easy to go, I'm suffering and I'm not coping and it's my fault and there's something wrong with you and you can go actually, it's my wiring, I'm wired to do this and now I feel okay for instance, human beings are wired to have a tremendous pain to loss, we react three times more to loss than to gain.

The loss is subjected and the only way you can cope with being at home for a period of time, and I'm deliberately not saying enforced, lockdown, quarantine, because they're very negative words. Any way you can cope with being at home for a while is to look at, is there anything at all that's good about it? You have to move your mind away from a lost to gain. I've lost my freedom, I might have lost my job, I might have lost my partner because we can't see each other anymore. I'm so good, I want to lose my partner, they're driving me crazy. So the only way you can cope with anything like this is to move your mind away from a lost again. Oh, I've got time to watch all these Netflix news. I've got time to go on YouTube and learn a brand new skill. I've got time to cook with my children. I've got time to make healthy food. I always had to have time to work out. I don't have time to meditate. I need more time. We've all got more time. If you use use that time, why is it you look back and say, you know what? Wasn't that bad? So your ability to look at a terrible situation, go, could there be one good thing about it? I'm actually doing puzzles with my kids, cooking with my kids. And you have to make yourself look, but if you look for what's good, you will find it. And there are two other things about human psychology that also playing out as well as the lost one is, human beings need certainty. The certainty that I'm okay, I have a job, I have enough money, I have health, someone loves me. And we don't have certainty because we don't know when this is going to end. You know you can cope with severe pain if it has an ending so there isn't a certainty when is it going to end? We don't know but we know one thing, give yourself certainty, get up and have a routine, get dressed, go downstairs, go into two hours on my computer, one hour working out, 20 minutes of editing. Then I can have three hours watching Netflix and then I'm going to make some phone calls. So if you can make your life kind of how it was before, like you know I work from home anyway, I film a lot. My life doesn't feel that different, I know I'm very lucky, but you have to give yourself the certainty. And the other thing about humans and they're very important is that we don't like change unless we can control the direction of change in our life and make it good. It's why we're scared of aging and we're scared of being sick. But if you didn't fear it, you'd be great. So you have think okay, this is a weird change I can deal with it and you know what we have actually been here before in 9 11 We were told life will never be the same again in the Gulf or in the UK They said life will never be the same again. I was here when the AIDS epidemic hit I think I was 20 and they said life will never be the same again, but it was the same, back we bounce and we will come back from this. So give yourself certainty, focus on something good, control the direction of change and you won't just cope with it well, you'll cope with it phenomenally, but you have to do that. God, I love that so much. I want to go so deep in a lot of things that you just said. So where I want to start is like how words matter. Like that is so powerful and people may dismiss the amount of power that that holds. So I have heard you say for instance don't talk about this situation right now as being a catastrophe. Like that is so true and I think that's where we're going along with all the news and everything. It's such a fear monger and it is a catastrophe. The ones who are in the bottom. Because people say this isn't apocalypse. You know, somebody says, they've taken away my freedom. I'm like, what freedom? You have freedom to use what to eat, what to watch, what to wear. You have freedom to choose what to think. You have wifi. You have freedom. Nobody can take you a freedom way unless you let them. So when you say, I'm in quarantine, and by the way, we're not in quarantine. That's when you're in hospital. I'm in a lockdown. You're not actually locked down. You're allowed to go for a walk, a bike, where you're allowed to go

to the stores, which have food? So when you say I'm in quarantine, I'm in lockdown, this is an apocalypse, this is terrifying, this is hell, this is a nightmare, this is a disaster, this is a pandemic, no it's not. It's not even isolation, it's a little retreat. I was about to say what words can we right now transfer transform them so I like the retreat that's so good. Right, I'm at home, I'm at home, I don't sound locked in, I'm stuck indoors, I'm trapped, I'm cooped up because the mind really responds to words that are painful because how we survive as people on the planet was anything that caused us pain we remembered it and avoided it. So once you link painters that your mind remembers like if you have a boyfriend called Ian who breaks your heart you'll hate that name for the rest of your life. It's a true. It's just what happens and so when you use those words catastrophe locked in in, shutting, cooped up, locked indoors, stuck in the house. You know, stuck doesn't seem like a bad word. But it is bad, because it means you can't move forwards. So find something else, I'm in the house. I'm at home. This situation is a challenge. It's not perfect, but it's all right. It's all right. You see the words okay and all right Actually don't make a picture. So you can either make very bland words. It's okay. It's all right You could say actually Some some of it is good. I'm finding some good stuff in here. A lot of people are saying you know I'm connecting with my neighbors. I'm spending more time doing stuff but the way you feel is down to two things. The pictures you make in your head and the words you construct and you see we know it's subjective because if I had a syringe in my hand right now I was about to put it in my body. If I was having a tattoo that would be a good image. If I was having, if I had two thick, and my dentist was going to give me an injection, they'd be a good thing. If I was in immense pain, I'd want that needle, but if I don't like needles, then it's painful. If I have a lump of meat in my hand, what is that? Well, if I'm a Hindu, it's really offensive. before I'm a vegan, it's disgusting. And if I'm a paleo person, it's like, yay, it's amazing. So we don't react to the meat or the needle. We react to what we think about the meat or the needle. It's your beliefs. And that's very, very good news because you can change your belief anytime you like. So that can really work for you or it can make it right. It's your choice. I love that. So knowing that it's our choice right now, we've just got so much input coming in, right? There's so much advice out there of what to do. There's a lot of experts talking about how we navigate, whether it's, you know, um, logistically staying at home or just emotionally and things like that with what we're talking about. But like, for instance, this is the toilet paper situation. I saw that you did a video on toilet paper and it's like, it's become a thing now, but it's always become a thing because people are saying it's a thing. So if you're getting all this input like you're saying, how do you navigate that and make sure that if you have a choice that I am actually choosing what is better and serving me versus what is not serving me? Yeah, and that's such an interesting thing because it's that thing. If I hold toilet paper, I feel like I'm in control. If I buy stuff, I feel like I'm in charge of the change going on. I mean, you can't eat toilet paper. That's not going to do you any use at all, but it's that same feeling of I'm out of control. And as humans, we're told to lie, you're happy to the degree that you are in control. Control your weight, people envy you. Go out looking like you've just been seen cleaned with every hair perfect. And people oh this is a person who's got control of it. I'd have a perfect home, perfect kids, a perfect shiny car but there's no such thing as control, you can't control the weather, you can't control your body because if you could you'd never get sick. The only thing you can control are your thoughts, your thoughts control your feelings, your feelings control your actions and your actions, dictate and control your events. The Lord of control begins and ending ends with your thinking. But the hoarding is just a mentality of if I have a garage full of stuff, I'm in control, I've got certainty, I've got gain and not loss, and I'm controlling the direction of change in my life. But certainty is in here, control is in here. If you control your thinking, you don't need to go around town, I get crazy person trying to stop power toilet paper. Yeah, for me I started to get quite panic about the food situation because I've got such healthy issues. And then I actually stopped and I was like, but Lisa, what's the worst that can happen? Like if you have no food in your stock in a situation, the unforeseen right, no one actually knows what's happening. What is that worst case scenario? Okay, I may have food that hurts my digestion. Okay, if that's the worst case scenario, can I live with that? Yeah. And so once I started breaking it down like that and kind of identifying the fear and then really go, but what if that happens then what? It really did help me just come to a relaxed point where it's like, now I don't, I'm not worried. it is what it is, if I'm out of food, I'll figure it out. But I know that it's causing a lot of anxiety in people. It is, and it's very anxious. But again, what causes anxiety, your thoughts? If you got on a plane and thought, oh my god, the plane is going to drop out of the sky, that person looks like a terrorist, there's a funny sound going on. And you'll have a totally different flight to somebody who says, wow, they've got my favorite movie on. I just picked up this great book. Oh, I like the food. I'm going to sit here for seven hours and completely chill because everything is down to how you feel about it. Your thoughts control your feelings but you have to take control of your thinking. You always have a choice to say I'm trapped. They've taken away my freedom. I'm in hell. But it's really down to the way you think. You're thought, you make your beliefs, but then your beliefs turn right around and make you. But then even more weird is the whole world seems to match. If you believe I'm trapped in the house, you've made that belief. But now the belief is making you and you're looking for so many reasons why you're trapped. You're trapped and you can't get away and the house is too small and the kids are making you crazy. The more you focus on being trapped, the more you feel trapped. Some years ago I worked with a client who could not have a cat scan. Literally couldn't get in that machine. And he said, I feel like I'm in a coffin. When it starts to go towards it, I feel like I'm in my coffin. It's a premonition of my death. And so I can't have a cat.

And I'm going, I completely freak out,

and then I have to press the button and come out.

And I said, but why don't you say I'm in my bed?

I'm in my bed at night.

I'm so chilled.

This is amazing.

And he'd been trying to have the scat scan for two months.

And then when he did it, and all the hospital staff applauded him, they were so proud of his life, he cried, he said it was such an achievement, I could get in the scanner. And a few years later I found myself having a Catscan at Seed as sign 9, it was very interesting because they actually shut you in a room, you're locked up in this room as like a whole X-ray machine and I thought, okay, I'm gonna play a game here.

So when I was in the machine, I started saying, I'm so chilled and I feel like I'm lying at home in my bed with my lovely pillows and I can hear the duck set side and this is lovely. And then I decided to go, oh, I'm in a coffin. I'm trapped in here. In the minute I did that, the nurse said,

Risa, you're moving, your whole body is okay.

You gotta keep completely still. And so I was playing the game, I'm chilled, I'm in a coffin, I'm free, I'm trapped. And it was fascinating to see what I did to myself by changing my language. But you see, that's the choice everyone has. You have a genius mind and you have a choice. Rationalize everything is going wrong and it's all hell and awful or talk yourself out of it. This will pass. This situation being at home will pass. Everything will go back to normal. And it might even be better because we've learned to value people who work in hospitals, people who work in stores, we realize we need other people, we need our neighbors. Yeah so what do we do right now if we're stuck, it was a stuck, if we're on vacation in our home where the people around us who maybe have a super negative mindset and so let's say I'm at home right now I'm listening to you. I'm like yes, we're just gonna make so much sense Oh, yeah, and then I stop the video and then for the next 24 hours 48 hours all I have a people around me that are Speaking negative and then fueling the anxiety in me again. What can I do then? Well, again, you do have a choice not to let that in. That does become harder when you're with somebody. So yesterday I was doing making an audience for children where they can go into their bloodstream and see the truth, the self-true spiting virus in the general is finding the virus, the troops killing them and the cleanup through cleaning them up. And I was showing parents that if you can make your children imagine these bee cells and tea cells and then monocytes as a cleanup crew, you know people could think there's no immunity. Your mind is your immunity. You have an immune system that works better if you imagine it. Deep breathing boosts your

immune system. Organism is massively boosts your immune system because your brain thinks you're having an orgasm. You're probably making a kid, I need to keep you well now because you've got to raise his kid. It's not enough to make it. So orgasms massively boosts your immune system. I have no idea. Oh yeah, we're gonna tell you to tell me that.

Every single day, but the thing is it's not his orgasm. It's in a despensable in nature. It's the woman that has to stay around to raise the child. So when women orgasm in powerfully boosts the immune system.

So orgasms, deep breathing, exercise, meditate,

boost your immune system. But this guy came on, he went, that's so irresponsible. You are irresponsible telling people they can boost their immune system. I said, well, your irresponsible then, they can't. Yeah, actually can, it's a fact. Of course you can boost your immune system and so it's responsibility means an ability to respond. If you are response able, you're able to respond, you have to respond better, make a choice and we all know that because we know that many people take placebo pills and think they're working and we know that when they make a new drug that makes hair grow for instance, they have to give a placebo to the people who grow as much hair as the people on the real drug. And so we already know in our minds that thoughts are real, every thought you think causes a physical reaction in your body. That's why if you think about sex, especially as a guy, you get a very physical reaction. It's called an erection. When you think about being embarrassed, you blush. When you think about something emotion your eyes fill up with tears, and that might be an advert on the television where a puppy is rolled up in toilet. You go, oh, I thought there was an emotional watching that. So we know that thoughts affect our body. We blush, we get tears, we shake, we start a, we get an erection, we feel completely aroused and turned on to a thought. We think of food, our stomach rumbles. So thoughts create a physical reaction in your body. So when you're living with someone negative, put headphones in, go and sit in the bathroom and run the taps, or just decide, I don't have to let this in. It's her belief. It doesn't have to be mine. It's not easy being with people who are super negative, but you can just drown it out. You always have a choice. Yeah. Once upon a time I would have thought everything you were saying was yeah it feels a little woo woo how can your mind really be that powerful. Oh my god how long I was and because of my health I have really just personally noticed the power of the mind and it was like okay well have a negative mindset that you know things like this does at work doesn't serve you so okay if I'm trying to serve myself how do I serve myself okay if I think positively and I am doing it too serve me to get me healthy then shot. And as I started to do it, I really freaking started to notice how it was working. It was like, I was identifying myself as a sick person. I was identifying myself as a weak person. I was identifying myself as the person gets stomach ups as every time I eat stomach pounds. And I was like, but I have now going back to the imprint that we were talking about at the beginning of the episode, I started to imprint all these elements of this is who I was. And I was like, this can't be good for me. So what if I just give it a shot? Like everything you're saying, what if I just give it a shot? And I really go into it thinking and believe in it, it's going to work. And I did it. And it worked. And I really, really truly believe that the mind is so powerful when it comes to believing the food's gonna hurt you, believing that you you are strong or you are weak, believing you can do something or believing you can't, right? That famous phrase if you believe you can, you can, if you believe you can't, it's so true. So everything you're saying right now I want people to listen so closely because if they dismiss you they're not serving the the potential of what they can achieve. But now I want to actually talk about procrastination because going back to thinking a lot how we can right now in this situation, I think as humans we procrastinate anyway. So now I've heard a lot of people talk about putting their lives on hold until it's over. So talk to me about that and why we're doing it, how we can actually break out of it, because I truly believe that if we can figure out how to help people break out of this procrastination, they really can use this time to make them so so much stronger. So talk to me about how we can actually do that. For procrastination, it's often a of being rejected. I could write a book now, hey, I've got all these weeks at home, I could write my online program, I could write out to speech, I could go online and practice being a comedian, I could do some online courses, but actually I'm lying on the Soviet potato chips watching every episode of curvy and what's that all about? It's the fear of being rejected. Our fear of being rejected is so powerful that people write a book and they never send it to a publisher. Have an idea and just let someone else have a better idea. And so the way to get by that is to go, okay, I have a fear of rejection. Let me look at that. 500 years ago you would have died from being rejected. We used to banish people, cast them out, send them into isolation, maroon, difficult sailors. We put difficult prisoners into isolation. We send our kids to their room, religious cults, banish you. And here we are now all feeling kind of banished and cast out and isolated, but we're not. And our fear of being rejected because it did kill us once upon a time is so powerful. Now you could live in your house, get your food by Amazon, literally 105. It doesn't kill you, but it feels like it might. So when you procrastinate, take a minute and go, I could write a book. I could write a book, I could have my own blog. I'm procrastinating because I'm scared of rejection, but if I accept that the only person who can really reject me is me, and I'm not going to do that that then you'll be okay. You have to have the bounce back factor. I refuse to allow fear of rejection to stop me doing something and if you do it you'll be amazing because we all get rejected. But some people bounce back and say no, I'm not, you know know, when you watch X-Factor or America and I, or people get, they come back the next year, and then they win. One direction came third on X-Factor. They didn't come first. They became the most successful boy band in the world. So remember, you're procrastinating because of this primal fear of being rejected. It's not real, it's not going to kill you. It could actually make your life a million times better. I'm so glad my first boyfriend dumped me because I wouldn't want to be married him. I'm so glad I got kicked out of college. I'm glad I got fired from different jobs

that weren't the right thing for me. Sometimes rejection can be the best thing that ever happens to you. But you have to stop fearing it and look back to see that. That's what I was gonna say though, because in those moments when it doesn't feel like it, you've taken a dent to your ego, You've been kicked in the teeth, you've put yourself out there, you've pushed yourself to be vulnerable and now you get people judging you. How do you make sure that you don't stick to it? Even if you intellectually know, okay, I need to keep going. Sometimes the emotion does stop you from taking that next step. It does, but you have to, you see, remember the subconscious mind is always switched on and always recording. My mind does not care if I tell it is good or bad, true or false, useful or useless, healthy or I know that it doesn't care, because it doesn't know. So it's my job to go, okay, I do feel a bit scared of rejection, but hey, I'm just going to keep going anyway. Nobody can reject me without my consent. And my consent is not given. Procrastination is trying to protect you from failing. And you have a choice. Give into it or talk yourself out of it. You only ever have two choices. Talk yourself out of it. Or rationalize why it's going on well. I can't do that. What if it's no good? What if nobody likes it? What if it's amazing? And it changes your entire world. And please don't feel a bit loose succeed having that failure. They've had so much failure, but they have the bounce back. But what's so amazing is that first it's what you do, but then it becomes who you are and you naturally bounce back into, oh this is great, this is positive and I saw your daughter in London, I said you know darling we're all in this together, everyone is going through what you're going through. But you're so lucky you're a painter and a weak lady says my mind feels so lucky, you know, I'm doing so many paintings at home and I've got more and more paintings and this club has just wants all my paintings. So you've always got to rationalize, talk yourself out of the bad stuff and into the good stuff. Because we all do that. We talk to ourselves every day. Just do a better job. I mean, you know, as a people, some of them who lift weights, that you lift weight, if you've got all this is too heavy, oh, this is painful, you have to do it and then what weight lifters do is they lift a weight, then they see themselves lifting a heavier weight. I do yoga and in yoga, you do a move and then you see yourself doing the move better. Keep getting your leg straight, putting your forehead on your knees as you stand up and bend forward. And if you see it, you achieve it because your mind reacts to the pictures. When you think of thought here or word or see a picture, your body immediately goes to work to make that picture real. Just hearing the words is causing your body to picture and manifest it. From as it doesn't matter if it's good or bad, it does it either way. So you might as well have great thoughts because they've probably come true. I love that. And as you were talking about your daughter, I was actually wondering if your daughter was really young right now. What language would you use around what is happening right now with us being a vacationing in our home? What language would you use? Let's say for instance, she was about to do something and you have a concern for her that she's gonna fall or something in this time. How do you use language? How do you see something in a positive way even if you see potential danger on the other side? And that's very true because when she was little I would never get a fall. You're gonna fall over there, you're gonna fall out of that tree because I hear about you, you're gonna hurt yourself, you're gonna break your neck, you're gonna break your leg and I was goingadron. When you climb a tree look at your

hand, look at your foot, look at the branches when you're riding your bike, keep looking ahead. And in the same way that we put a seat belt on, every time we get in the car, we don't think I'm going to crash. We think it's a protection when I go to bed and I go in a lot for my doors. I don't think someone's gonna come and emerge in me, but I take sensible precautions.

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