Do I have to end my friendship with a family member’s ex now that they are divorced?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 2 May 2023

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode I talk with Heidi and answer the question “Do I have to end my friendship with a family member’s ex now that they are divorced?” Heidi grew very close with the person who married into her family, and after that marriage ended Heidi’s family member asked her to cut contact with their ex. Heidi wants to be respectful, but she also really misses her friend.I advise Heidi that her family member does not get to make decisions about Heidi’s relationships. They get to decide not to b...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your faith. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.5	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.3	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them
0:43.0	with tools to find healing.
0:45.2	I'm very excited to welcome Heidi to the podcast today. Welcome, Heidi.
0:51.1	Hello.
0:52.4	What is your question for me today? My question is, I would like some help
0:58.7	grieving friendships. And it's not something I've had to do before. Okay, so tell me what's happened.
1:09.3	Most specifically, friendship that neither of us chose to end the friendship.
1:16.5	Okay.
1:17.3	So family member got married and then the spouse and I became very close good friends.
1:25.3	And then the marriage wasn't working out and they got divorced. And,
1:32.2	you know, the family member reached out to me and said, I hope you respect my wishes. I want you
1:38.8	to stop reaching out to my ex. And I actually initially didn't. Like, I stayed like, I just watched what she was up to on
1:51.9	Facebook really. I didn't necessarily reach out. But then that family member asked the ex to unfriend me
2:00.5	on Facebook. And they did. but now I just find myself,
2:04.6	like, I wonder what they're up to. I wonder how they're doing. I wonder if they finished that
2:10.2	project they were working on. And then I think about it. And it makes me sad. Yeah. Okay.
2:24.4	So my thoughts on this are your family member doesn't get to make that decision for you.
2:25.5	Mm-hmm.
	...

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