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Distorted View Daily

Dildo-Wielding Woman Falls Asleep Mid-Fap In Her Car

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2025

⏱️ 23 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On Today’s Show: Our New PO Box Address! Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236

The post Dildo-Wielding Woman Falls Asleep Mid-Fap In Her Car first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

Transcript

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0:00.0

All right, Tim back here with you for a very short Memorial Day episode of DV.

0:10.5

Doing a mini program because it's the holidays. You know, I'm grilling and chilling today.

0:15.6

Picking up babes, wearing my cutoffs, my low hanging tanks peeking through the bottom of my shorts.

0:23.3

Every time I take a step, I get just a little more aroused, because the fringes in those

0:28.1

jeans shorts like tickle my testicles, you know.

0:31.2

If you'd like to see a picture of me in my Daisy Dukes, I've made it today's featured image

0:36.1

over there at distortiveview.com and superfreaksighter.com.

0:39.8

It's a little Memorial Day present

0:41.4

from me to you.

0:43.3

God bless the USA

0:44.8

and God bless the troops.

0:47.1

It's really for you guys.

0:48.2

God bless America.

0:51.2

That's right.

0:52.3

My home, sweet home.

1:02.0

The only time I have been able to harmonize with anyone when a mentally handicapped person is trying to sing, then we sound great together. I really shine.

1:13.7

Hey, speaking of, let's say, special songs, I found some music sung by the mentally gross.

1:22.6

What is the correct? The mentally different, mentally challenged, or especially different different i don't know what we're

1:30.2

supposed to call them anymore the one thing i do know is the r word is coming back with a vengeance i don't

1:35.7

want to say it has everything to do with trump being reelected but this whole idea of sticking it

1:41.8

to the libtards normalizing Nazis, and just sort of glorifying

1:45.8

assholes probably played a significant part in its resurgence. And when I say resurgence,

...

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