Phylicia Masonheimer joins us to discuss what a theology of sex is, why we struggle with it, and how to develop a better theology.

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From the Bible

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22–23 (NLT)

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3–5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:16 (ESV)

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15–16

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? Luke 18:1–7

So Moses brought their case before the Lord, and the Lord said to him, “What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and give their father’s inheritance to them. Numbers 27:5–7

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to anyone and has sex with her, he must pay the customary bride price and marry her. But if her father refuses to let him marry her, the man must still pay him an amount equal to the bride price of a virgin. Exodus 22:16-17 (NLT)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33

Resources

• Every Woman a Theologian - Phylicia Masonheimer
• The Sex Talk You Never Had by Phylicia Masonheimer
• Episode 154: Why We’re Against Porn and Erotica
• Common Myths of Romance Novels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Wired for Story: The Writer's Guide to Using Brain Science to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence by Lisa Cron
• Why You Feel Worse Than He Does about the Premarital Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Reasons Satan Targets Marriage • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Francie Winslow (mentioned by Phylicia, but 😊, we'd already booked her for a future episode!)
• Four Ways to Absorb God’s Truth about Intimacy in Marriage | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too
• The Higher Desire Wife - Baker Book House (pre-order and get bonuses!)

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns
Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor
Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker