This is a Headgun Podcast.

Ah, there you are, traveller.

Come inside to hang up your couch, put your feet by the fire,

and I shall bring you what you so desperately seek.

Root tales of magic.

Welcome back to Root Tales of Magic.

Don't like it?

Keep listening.

I'm reloading.

Our heroes, fellows family, and Andrea the brain nomenclature have done the impossible.

They almost escaped from Brian Doyle Falls' twisted, subtropical, Jungian shadow,

Danny Time-Share-Grelaw, working title.

But, mere feet away from the sepia door, which leads to freedom,

they've been stopped in their tracks by a massive dragon, which has taken the form of a living illustration of a flamingo.

Its neck stretches out of a boiling cool, 30 feet into the night sky,

and it moves jaggedly like it's animated on the fours.

As Root Tales finally hit its budgetary ceiling, we'll see,

because the Root Pool area is surrounded by cheeky torches that stink the high heaven of citronella.

An unused karaoke machine sits alone in a corner under a palm tree,

like Andrea the brain nomenclature at her and fellows prom.

She kept looking at him, but he was busy.

An empty lifeguard chair overlooks the boiling pool, mocking the entire roof with impossible promises of safety.

...