Hi, this is Stephen the editor.

Before we jump into the day's episode of Dear Internet,

I wanted to let you know that there was some issues with the audio from Michael.

It's been cleaned as much as possible.

We want to let you know that we are aware of the issue,

and it should be resolved before the next recording.

Thanks, enjoy the show.

Dear Internet.

Yeah. Dear Internet. Welcome to Dear Internet, the show where a group of friends come together to answer the Internet's wildest questions.

This week, we're

talking about a $900 ferret attack, sharing an experience with other people on Reddit, and

the neighborhood onion thief. I'm Jennifer and with me is Tim Lanning. Hello, Jennifer.

Nick Bristow. Hello, Jennifer.

And Michael DeMorrow.

Why would you pay to have a ferrette's head?

Well, we'll just have to find out.

You know, people have a range of wants and desires in this world, and maybe they want to get clawed by a ferret. It's like those things where you put your feet in the fish pond and then they like nibble. Oh, they eat your dints. Get off your feet. I was always too afraid to do that. Yeah, I don't think I like that. Like, I don't like the idea of their little fish mouths all over my feet. No thing. I've done it, and it's like getting a thousand kisses. I would kill for a thousand kisses. Have thousand kisses on your feet from fish. Is that why people do that? That's why people do it because they want love. Can I train my coy to do it? Oh, yeah. They're going to take, yeah, they're going to take the big toe, honestly. Yeah, they're going to suck your whole foot down. They're like big boys. It's been a minute.

Can we get a coy, a coy date, a coy update? Yeah, how you're coy doing. Oh, they're doing, they're thriving guys. They, uh, none, none dead this winter. Yeah. Yeah. Very exciting. Don't they live under the ice or something? Do you feed them? Yeah, they just chill. No.

They didn't go to sleep for six months.

To fish.

God, or just chill. No. Sleep. They didn't go to sleep for six months. Do fish? God, or so mean. Do they swim on their sweep? Don't they need like that? No, I can't see them. We put a little blakey on. Oh. Because I know that just how works. Like they just kind of like chill. It's like they're hibernating for the fish. Yeah, but like don't they need like the motion of the water to like give them air over their gills? I mean, there's a little buggler and stuff. Oh, so they just lay in the buggler. Yeah, it probably just chill in the buggler. Yeah, it probably is chilling the buggler. Yeah, that makes sense. I love that you have coy, Michael. That is, that's so cool. How many of them are there? Six. Jesus Christ. And I'm like, should we, because one died the first year. It wasn't our fault. It wasn't our fault. Sure. I mean, sometimes animals die. Sometimes the plants die. They said they were were just old and it was his time uh huh

do they make babies

...