Let me tell you about a client I worked with years ago.

She was 14 and her parents brought her to therapy because she was flunking her classes

and she wasn't following their rules at home and she was suddenly getting very angry at them.

She was yelling at them, she was telling them to go to hell, that sort of thing.

The parents were understandably concerned about their child.

And this was back in the day when I did in-home therapy. I would meet

with the family in their house. And so the 14-year-old, she hated me. She really hated me.

She didn't want to be in therapy. She hated her parents. She hated everyone pretty much except for her friends.

She just wanted to spend all of her time with her friends. And she would sneak out at night to be with her friends and she would sneak out at night to be with her friends and

she would sneak out to be with older boys sometimes. Her parents were

understandably frustrated and they were probably scared of what she would do.

The parents wanted me to connect with her, but it wasn't easy.

The client she refused to talk to me.

We spent many hours just sitting in silence.

It was hard work for me, I must say. There were times when I just

wanted to give up. Sometimes she would just lay on the couch while I desperately tried to get

her to talk with me. She was she was fairly frustrating for me. But over time

over many sessions the 14 year old client began to trust me. She began to open up about

how much she about how much she was suffering and how awful she felt and how angry she was and how sad she was.

I found out that she was in a constant state of emotional distress. It was an ongoing relentless emotional

suffering for her. It wasn't just depression. It was something, it was something perhaps deeper

than that. Something more excruciating.

...