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Bloodline Banter

Cruise Ships and Nip Slips

Bloodline Banter

2M Media Group

Comedy, Society & Culture

5.0661 Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome back to another episode of Bloodline Banter where this week we somehow managed to cover the Met Gala, global pandemics, Sonic sewage disasters, the Pythagorean theorem, and the possibility that chickens were probably traumatized the first time they laid eggs. So basically… business as usual. We kick things off reacting to some of the most questionable Met Gala looks we’ve ever seen and quickly spiral into a discussion about whether celebrities are getting dressed by fashion designers or abandoned at Hobby Lobby with a hot glue gun and a dream. From there, things only get more chaotic as we dive headfirst into the newest virus outbreak, cruise ship conspiracies, masks, vaccines, and why Riley thinks half the country would willingly survive another pandemic inside Walmart. Somewhere along the way, we also recap a night out on Broadway that nearly ended with Riley taking a solo swim in the Cumberland River, discuss suspicious homeless signs, and question why Church of God ladies always seem to appear in denim skirts on Lower Broadway. We also get into growing up Southern, small-town gossip, and why Georgia State Patrol officers seem to materialize out of thin air like federal agents from the future. Then things somehow turn educational during Bloodline Brain Check where we discover we may not actually know basic geography, what GPS stands for, or the capital of Australia. Honestly, the American school system probably gave up on us years ago. And just when things couldn’t get any more unhinged, Landon relives the traumatic experience that made him quit Sonic after being told to vacuum mystery sewage liquid out of a kitchen floor drain. If you’ve ever gotten lost on Broadway, questioned literally everything you learned in school, nearly died working a minimum wage job, or looked at a Met Gala outfit and thought “what the hell am I looking at?”… this episode is for you. SPONSORS: Go to https://sunriseflourmill.com and use code BANTER for 20% off your first order  Download the Olive App to claim your 7-day FREE trial! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789 SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Bloodline Banter. I'm Raleigh. And this is Landon, and here we are. And we're back. And if you look behind us, we have our new branding. Uh, we have went a, we, whoa, we have overwent a, um, rebrand. Yeah, we did. Complete different direction. Katie called us this more than our friend. And she said, I'm so glad you got rid of that ugly orange. Y'all aren't hunters.

0:22.0

We really liked the orange in our friend and she said, I'm so glad you got rid of that ugly orange. Y'all aren't hunters.

0:40.9

We really liked the orange in the beginning and then like just lately I've like kind of distance myself from it. I don't know. I just feel like orange is like so dark and dingy. Yeah. So now we have this and if you're listening on Apple or Spotify or wherever you get your podcast and you want to see it, go over to YouTube. Also, we'll just go ahead and say this in the very beginning. Go ahead and hit that subscribe button on YouTube. Follow us on Apple, podcast, social media anywhere. Add us on Snapchat. That's a fun time. Make sure you're following all of our social pages. That's the best way you can stay up to date. So anyways, okay, enough with the boring stuff.

0:55.1

How'd you sleep last night?

1:12.2

I slept pretty good last night. I woke up. My oaring slip score was at 83. And it kind of just pissed me off because anybody who has an oar ring, you know, if you get an 85 or higher on anything, you get a little crown. I was kind of pissed off. I didn't get a crown. Did you don't try to go to sleep for like two more minutes, try to get those two points?

1:12.3

No, because I woke up of pissed off. I didn't get a crown. Did you not try to go to sleep for like two more minutes, try to get those two points?

1:26.1

No, because I woke up at like 8.30. Well, mine's dead. So it didn't even record my sleep score, but I do feel rejuvenated today. Good. So it was probably like a 78 if I had to guess. Okay, precise. Yeah. Well. I'm telling you.

1:31.0

Anyways, we're going to get started off talking about MetGala looks.

1:31.9

Okay.

1:32.3

The MetGala was last week, and if we would have known this last week, we would have talked

1:35.7

about it in last week's episode.

1:37.7

I feel like every year people try to get uglier and uglier with their outfits.

1:43.4

Because why would you wear some of that shit?

1:47.1

Also, when you sent me a picture of it, dochi?

1:49.9

I don't remember.

1:51.2

Which one had a curtain, a shower curtain wrapped around her titty?

1:54.3

Oh my.

1:54.9

It was like curtain, curtain, curtain.

1:57.3

One wrong move and she was having a nip slip.

1:59.2

She took Granny's curtain, she wrapped it around 14 times, came back over and it's just holding up this tit like this. Yeah. Like what? And then. Some of y'all, the reason some of y'all dress like however you want to is because you never had someone look at you and say, are you going to wear them? And I know the whole point of it is to be like fashionable, but if that's fashion, I don't want to ever.

2:21.7

What damn Heidi Kloon was the Statue of Liberty?

2:24.5

Paper Meshade.

...

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