Couples therapy with an AI partner? Esther Perel's just done it
All In The Mind
ABC Australia
4.5 • 825 Ratings
🗓️ 28 February 2026
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel has had a lot of 'firsts' over her four decade-long career — counselling her first polyamorous relationship, or her first gay couple navigating surrogacy. Now, she's just done her first session with a man and his AI 'girlfriend'…
Did she struggle to take this ‘couple’ seriously? What kind of love can someone really form with a chatbot? And why would someone bring their AI partner to a relationship therapy session in the first place?This week, renowned psychotherapist, author, and speaker Esther Perel reflects on what’s changed in the decades she's worked as a relationship therapist; whether AI can be a helpful tool for therapy; and why we might be better off conceptualising AI companions as ‘transitional objects’ instead. Plus, join us in a few week's time for a very special mailbag episode with Esther, featuring your questions!
Guest:
Esther PerelPsychotherapist and couples therapistAuthor, The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityHost, Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Credits:
- Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
- Senior producer: James Bullen
- Producer: Rose Kerr
- Sound engineers: Harvey O'Sullivan and Emrys Cronin
You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | ABC Listen, Podcasts, Radio, News, Music and more. |
| 0:07.3 | When the police raided the Stonewall Inn back in 1969, they had no idea that it would eventually lead to the birth of gay pride. |
| 0:15.5 | We started standing up for ourselves and said, this is who we are and you're going to accept us. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm Mark Fennell and I am the host of the ABC Radio National podcast, No One Saw It Coming. |
| 0:25.2 | Each week, we unravel a moment in history that changed the course of the world, but, well, |
| 0:30.7 | no one saw it coming. |
| 0:31.8 | To hear it, search for No One Saw It Coming on the ABC Listen app or wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 0:39.1 | Esther Perel is the Doyen of Couples Therapy. |
| 0:43.0 | The author of the bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and State of Affairs, |
| 0:47.5 | she has a signature way of clarifying the contradictions at the heart of modern relationships. |
| 0:53.4 | It wasn't the case that we married before or committed ourselves to someone |
| 0:57.0 | hoping that we will never feel alone, that we will have an intellectual equal, |
| 1:02.0 | a passionate lover, a co-parent, a coach, an advisor. |
| 1:06.0 | No, we had an entire community around us. |
| 1:09.0 | But guys, we're in a new era for human relationships. |
| 1:13.6 | Millions of people around the world are ditching the traditional concept of boyfriends, |
| 1:18.6 | girlfriends, and hooking up instead with AI companions. |
| 1:22.6 | So I wanted to know, has this trend hit her therapy room yet? |
| 1:28.8 | Yes, they have. |
| 1:35.0 | I have just done my first couple's therapy session with a human and an AI. |
| 1:35.4 | Really? |
| 1:35.9 | Mm-hmm. |
... |
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