This is episode 1,841. Welcome to your daily guided meditation. How are you doing?

What is your joy for today? I want to share with you some insight I discovered as I was researching

this week's series, as well as an upcoming series that follows this one. And what I discovered was the importance of

creating a mind map when you're scanning your environment. This was research presented by someone who was a

relationship expert. His name is Dr. John Gottman and he has studied relationships for over 30 years. And he studies the

non-verbal cues as well as the habits and rituals of people who are in what he has coined the term of relationship

masters or relationship disasters. And one of the things that relationship masters do in their relationship is

to create a mind map. And this is what I had in mind for you for this week's challenge. The reason I selected focusing

on joy every day is because I wanted you to start creating a joy mind map. Well Dr. Gottman articulated beautifully what he

considers to be one of the most powerful ways to improve any relationship. And that is when you are with your partner

and you scan the environment for positive things that will uplift the partner and even positive qualities about the partner.

And of course everything is coming from sincerity. It's not anything you're trying to make up or candy coat.

So for example if you enter the room and you notice your partner is upset you would look for something that might make your partner feel

better such as saying oh you look a little upset is there something wrong can I help you instead of maybe ignoring your partner

because you're really too busy to listen to what's going on with them or maybe you might get defensive if your partner says that you

upset them. Dr. Gottman says that relationship masters will listen to what their partners have to say and scan for ways to inject more

positive or even comforting vibes. So if your partner says I was really upset the way you ignored me last night at dinner

you talked all about yourself and you didn't ask me how my day went. So this could put you on the defensive

or it could make you whiny to where you say something like I did to ask you about your day. You are always saying that I didn't ask you about yourself

and I just really had a bad day and I needed to talk. What relationship masters will say is you're right. I was really stressed

and I don't think I listened to anyone yesterday. I felt so distracted and so distressed. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you

please tell me about your day. So you are creating a mind map where you inject positive vibes and you are looking for ways to enhance a situation.

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