Conquering People Pleasing

The Look & Sound of Leadership

Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

Education, Executive Presence, Management, Careers, Executive Coaching, Self-improvement, Business

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 7 March 2024

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.

Be in touch with Tom here.

Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.

Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership.

G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.

This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

For Women

Managing Yourself

Self-Talk

Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

188 Boundaries

165 The Conflict Conversation

220 Holding Boundaries

219 How to Set Boundaries

116 Speaking Your Truth

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From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership.
0:06.0	An ongoing series of executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel,
0:15.2	your executive coach, and today we're talking about conquering people pleasing. NOAA was pissed at a co-worker named George.
0:27.0	At least that's where he started his story.
0:30.0	I've told you about him, Tom, he said.
0:32.0	All flash, no substance. Well, he and I were in a client
0:36.4	meeting, and it was like he thought he was going to charm their business out of them.
0:41.1	He hadn't done any homework. I couldn't believe it.
0:44.0	What happened? I asked. Well I couldn't save his part of the presentation but mine
0:48.8	was buttoned up. Well, mine always are. You know me, Tom, I always want an A, which is what infuriates me about George.
0:56.5	He doesn't seem to care.
0:58.8	Have you talked to him about this?
1:00.1	I asked.
1:01.1	Yeah, well, that's what's really pissing me off. Me. He and I had carpooled, so we were
1:10.0	together the whole way back to the office, but did I say anything? No. Did I tell him
1:15.7	I was worried about the client? No. Did I tell him how upset I was? No, it was all
1:21.9	pouring through my head but I didn't say anything.
1:25.0	He paused. I waited. He said,
1:30.0	This is what we've been talking about, right? The people please are in me that just can't speak up.
1:36.0	I must not think very highly at myself.
1:39.0	How do you mean? I asked.
1:41.0	Well, I have all these thoughts, all these things I want to say, but I don't say any of them.
	...

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