Conifer Emptor

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Relationships, Information, John Hodgman, Justice, Society & Culture, Kids & Family, John Hodgeman, Mac, Knowledge, Pc, Comedy, Show, Jesse Thorn, Judge, World, More

4.8 • 7.9K Ratings

🗓️ 21 December 2016

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Michael brings the case against his husband, Matthew. For the last several years, the two of them have used an artificial Christmas tree during the holiday season. Matthew prefers live trees and would like to introduce one to their home but Michael is strongly against the idea. Who’s right, who’s wrong? We need cases for JJHo at SF Sketchfest and at Very Very Fun Day in Chicago! To submit a case for either live show, visit maximumfun.org/jjho! Thank you to Rob Calabrese for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
0:05.1	I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn.
0:07.1	This week, Conifer Emptor.
0:10.0	Michael brings the case against his husband Matthew.
0:12.4	The last several years, the two of them have used an artificial Christmas tree during the
0:16.2	holiday season.
0:17.7	Matthew prefers live trees, and he'd like to introduce one to their home, but Michael
0:21.9	is strongly against the idea.
0:24.5	Who's right?
0:25.5	Who's wrong?
0:26.5	Only one man can decide.
0:28.3	This rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural
0:34.1	reference.
0:36.3	We aren't dealing with ordinary artificial trees here.
0:39.9	These are highly complicated pieces of equipment, almost as complicated as living organisms.
0:45.6	In some cases, they've been designed by other trees.
0:48.7	We don't know exactly how they work.
0:51.2	Baylif Jesse Thorn, swear them in.
0:53.7	Please rise and raise your right hands.
0:55.9	Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you
0:59.9	God or whatever?
1:00.9	I do.
	...

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