CONFLICT: How to Have More Productive Disagreements

The Next Big Idea

Next Big Idea Club

Education, Social Sciences, Science, Society & Culture

4.4 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2019

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever had one of those arguments — whether with a friend or a colleague, a loved one or a perfect stranger — that you both vehemently disagree, and it boils your blood? Too often these days, arguments with people we disagree with feel impossible. We never solve anything but seem to succeed in hurting someone’s feelings. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? In his forthcoming book, “Why Are We Yelling?: The Art of Productive Disagreement” (Nov. 19), Buster Benson, who has worked for some of the world’s most successful companies, to help you have hard conversations in your relationships, engage people with different political viewpoints, and disagree with dignity.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The Irvine, California early 90s.
0:13.0	Five teenage boys lope along a rough dirt path.
0:16.6	A warm wind blows across their sweaty backs as they willed themselves through their cross-country
0:21.0	track practice.
0:23.1	In the jumble of high school, these boys have found each other,
0:26.8	though you wouldn't necessarily think
0:28.1	to put them together.
0:29.7	Three of them are religious.
0:31.2	Two are atheists.
0:32.4	A couple drink and do drugs, others won't even touch
0:35.3	coffee, but they're all socially awkward and they all like to see themselves as free thinkers.
0:42.3	So they bond while racing through the Southern California
0:45.2	brush then hashing over their ideas and opinions. They happily spar with each
0:49.6	other. They like that they're different, that they have conflicting views.
0:54.0	It's part of what makes their friendship great.
0:57.0	Jump ahead 25 years.
1:03.0	They're still in touch online, and they're still very different.
1:07.0	One's a lawyer for Exxon in Dubai, another works for Al Jazeera.
1:11.0	There's a Bay Area Tech entrepreneur, a Florida warehouse manager, and a special
1:15.8	ed teacher in Texas. It's 2016 and the election campaign is in full swing, and it's getting ugly.
1:23.4	Crooked Hillary Clinton.
1:24.8	Oh, she's crooked folks.
	...

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