Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want

to be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking

about compassion during change. Jay's boss was concerned about him. A star performer recruited by the CEO, Jay suddenly seemed to be

floundering. He'd goofed up two major projects and had blown up during a staff meeting. Jay's

boss was hoping I could help.

Within minutes of meeting this smiling hulk of a guy, I liked him.

He opened up right away, saying he was just as puzzled as his boss.

I know things are going south, he told me, but it's not intentional. I don't know what's

going on. He told me how the CEO and old business school buddy had been recruiting him

for years. Jay had lived in the middle of the

country with his wife and two kids. For 18 years he'd run his own company with his

best friend, but the CEO had been increasingly persuasive until finally Jay began to commute and

consult. After a year of that his family agreed to move to the coast.

Jay sold his half of the business to his friend, pulled up his roots, and joined the company full-time

as one of the senior executives.

At first, his kids had had a tough time adjusting to their new city, so at his wife who had

never lived anywhere about their hometown.

But now he told me with relief they were settling in.

They all seemed to have made friends and to have gotten over their period of adjustment.

And what about you, I asked. Have you settled in?

He sighed and told me how much he missed his best friend and how different it was to be an

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