Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of executive

coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to

be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking

about coaching versus therapy. Lori appeared to have a golden life. She was aired to a family

fortune going back three generations and was

graced with an excess of brilliance and beauty. Her unassuming down-to-earth

air gave no clue to all the privileges she had or to the fact that she was

running the family's

philanthropic foundation. My first exposure to Lorry had been on the phone when she

called to inquire about coaching. I asked what she was looking for and she

replied, I'm not worried about whether people like me.

I know they do and I like them. But I just get the wobbles when I'm in front of folks, and I'm

in front of folks all the time these days. It's not doing me or my foundation any good. As the conversation

went on Lori said the following things about herself. A lot of times I worry I'm

not up to the task of running the foundation.

I'm pretty confident my board of directors is on my side, that's because they don't know the real me.

I won't ever be as smart as my dad. I feel I'm not good enough. It was no wonder

Lori was feeling the wobbles. If I diminished myself as much as she did, I'd be lucky to be getting out of bed in the

morning, let alone running a foundation. At our first session, I asked Lori what to me

was an innocuous question. When do you first remember getting those wobbles?

In reply, Lorry told me the details of a painful childhood. Her mom had been a rageful alcoholic

who had emotionally abused her and then had suffered a traumatic

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