I amla. I've been very open about the fact that I was not always good and making my

relationships work. I have been divorced three times twice from the same person. In other words, I have seen a lot and failed a lot in my relationships.

So I am here to share with you what I learned along the way because I did take copious notes.

Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I-Heart Radio. I want to speak today as an advocate for communication because I think communication takes a bad rap in relationships.

Everybody blames everything on communication.

Oh, we have bad communication.

We have poor communication.

We can't communicate. He don't communicate. I don't

communicate. It's not communication. It's your mind. When you don't have

clarity in your mind about who you are, about what you want, about what it is

that you're doing, and what it is you desire when you're not clear about what's working, what's not working, of course

you can't communicate.

You can't communicate with yourself.

How are you going to communicate with somebody else? Communication is a two-way operation. It's

offering something, it's hearing something, and in there you have speaking, you

have listening, you have hearing, you have have sharing and people don't make those

distinctions what's the distinction between hearing and listening there's two

different things and when you don't know that and you try to articulate it'll break down and then you

blame communication communication has to be clear but the clarity has to first come from within you. Communication

has to be clean, meaning you cannot have a hidden agenda, you can't have

unspoken truths, you can't have unspoken truths, you can have speculations and judgments, clear, clean,

and then it has to be complete, complete.

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