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When I did the Jay Shetty podcast, like I saw a lot of people comment saying like, you always knew

you were gay.

You pulled that woman through like hell.

And honestly, it's not the truth.

At a young age when I was told I was these things that seemed bad before I'd really

kind of delved into it, I was very focused on just not being.. I didn't really entertain it. Your brain is really powerful, how you can just like unsee something. But only for so long. You know, when I came out at 26, it was so hard. And then not only was I trying to understand that, I was trying to explain it to other people. Yeah. The people I love the most, I was also hurting. And I felt that I was bringing that shame I had as a child onto them.

I felt like, oh, they're going to get bullied. They're going to get picked on now. They're going to have a gay dad. It's going to be hell. That to me was the limit. limit couldn't comprehend her in my own children because all you want to do is a dad is as a parent is

protect your kid and i tried everything to try and get rid of it and i couldn't i did try and

end my life my own children because all you want to do is a dad is or as a parent is to protect your kid

and I tried everything to try and get rid of it and I couldn't I did try and end my life and

it didn't work I think when I laid in that hospital bed I was in there for a while and I

remember things myself well what now like I couldn't have hated myself anymore I couldn't

have wanted to be anyone else than me and I realized I'd spent my whole life trying to be somewhere else or be someone else.

And I think in that moment I just surrendered. I just sort of said, what's the opposite I could do?

If I'm going to be here, I can't change it. But what about if I just accept it?

But step one is just saying, this is who I am.

Hello, you cutie little lemon drops. Happy Wednesday or whatever day of the week it is that you are listening to this. I hope your week is off to a great start. And I cannot tell you how excited I am for today's episode with celebrity hairstylist and author Chris Appleton. I've been a huge fan of Chris for so long,

so this episode really means a lot to me. Chris is known for shaping some of the most iconic beauty moments in pop culture working with names like Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Ariana

Grande, but honestly, there is so much more to his story.

In this episode, Chris gets deeply personal about the role fear has played in his life,

from the fear of disappointing the people he loved most while coming out to his ex-partner and children, to the shame he carried for years and what ultimately helped him heal.

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