We are receiving for the first time.

And, uh,

receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past,

the turbulent time that was the early 21st century. Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization,

we began this monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology

to decrypt our transmissions, this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule. This is the omnibus. You have accessed and You have accessed entry 218.

J.B.4124.

Certificate number 31277.

Chopin's Heart.

Thank you. Chopin's heart. Is this one of those medical oddity shows?

Like, was his heart super weird?

Or like, is it in somebody's living room now or under glass?

Does it creep around at night when they turn off all the lights?

Do people get...

Does Chopin's heart murder people with an axe? If you pay $10,000, can you eat a little piece of it? Wow. What would that? Is that like a theme restaurant? Yeah, just a little toothpick. It's like one of those places. Tiny bits of your favorite celebrities are on sale now. You're like, wait, Ving Rames is still alive.

How is this?

How did you get this?

...