We are receiving the more of the first time.

And, uh,

receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past,

the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge. These recordings represent our attempt to

compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost. So whether you're

listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology

to decrypt our transmissions, this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the Omnibus.

This is the Omnibus. You have accessed and You have accessed entry 759.

J.U.052525. Certificate number 34384. Margarine.

Parquet Margarine from Kraft. The flavor says...

Ken, do you eat toast?

Are you toast eater?

I have eaten toast.

It's not part of my identity.

I don't know about have eaten toast.

I feel like everybody has eaten toast.

I am not a routine eater of toast.

...