Hey everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new

No Bad Kids Master course.

You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury and welcome to Unruffold.

This week I'm responding to a question on my Facebook page from a mom who is struggling

with her three and a half year olds, Contrarian and Controlling Behavior.

Before I begin, I want to remind everybody that both of my books are available on audible.com

in audio, No Bad Kids and Elevating Childcare, and they're also available in paperback at

Amazon and in ebook at Amazon Barnes & Noble and Apple.com.

Here's how this mother describes her situation.

We are really struggling with my almost 3.5 year old and her controlling and oppositional behavior.

I can't find the balance between setting reasonable boundaries with choices and choosing my battles.

For example, last night she asked for a drink.

She was given the first cup in reach.

She asked that we change it to a different cup, which we then did.

Since she always wants to oppose, control and resist when we are agreeable, she then asked

for a different cup, which we refused.

What should we do at that point, or before?

Offer the first or second cup only as choices ask her to choose her cup and only allow

her first choice?

It happens with everything with her personally, and she attempts to do it to others, controlling

where they stand, walk, etc.

...