Chapter 3: The Pickle Prince

Bone Marry Bury

Dear Media

Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 846 Ratings

🗓️ 8 March 2022

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Allie’s back in the professional world with her hot new startup (AKA selling pot). But when she tries her hand at dealing, she finds she’s not as much of a natural as she hoped. Dejected by her rough day on the job and abandoned by Gabe who’s chasing love with his new man, Allie caves when she gets a booty call from Jesse, her ex-boyfriend (and artisanal dill pickle heir). After some ecstasy with her ex, things take a shocking turn…

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You may say that we're in over your hands.
0:03.0	I'm the last thing that you'll ever regret.
0:54.2	So pour another drink tonight, I, Mary and Barry, three different people Okay, so let's recap.
0:58.7	So, Allie's going to bone, Mary, and Barry three different people this month.
0:59.7	She just bone Louise.
1:02.3	Now she's just got to marry and bury some folks.
1:04.6	Geez, for being unemployed, she sure does keep busy.
1:08.1	So high on life and a few orgasms,
1:14.2	Ali decided to pawn her dead grandmother's favorite diamond necklace for $1,000 of startup capital.
1:17.8	And skipped over to Evans Bar to buy a bunch of weed.
1:20.2	At first, I was appalled.
1:23.1	I didn't know Allie was hoarding fine jewelry that I could have been wearing,
1:27.9	but then she told me about that time her and her Nana were on the train when a Korean family sat next to them.
1:31.8	And Nana said, I didn't know we were on the Panda Express.
1:35.3	So as far as I'm concerned, Nana can eat a bag of dicks respectfully.
1:36.8	Rest in peace or whatever.
1:48.9	Hey, Evan. I'm here for the Girl Scout cookies we talked about.
1:51.5	What up? Grab a stool. I'll be right with you.
1:59.5	Okay, here we go. One thunder and pale ale and a shot of skirt.
2:05.3	So, did you, uh, get the stuff?
2:08.6	You're gonna have to learn to play it a little cooler than that.
2:10.4	Oh, I'm cool as ice, dog!
	...

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