Celibacy, First Times, and Being Late Bloomers

Good Children

Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella & Studio71 & Confetti Cannon

Comedy

5 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 10 September 2025

⏱️ 71 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week, we’re discussing being celibate. For us, that means our entire lives up until about 23 years old. It also means the first year of this podcast. Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/goodchildrenpod instagram.com/joehegyes instagram.com/andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: tiktok.com/goodchildrenpod tiktok.com/bequietjoe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I have a question.
0:01.0	Do you want to have a slumber party in my basement?
0:03.0	Do you want to make my heartbeat like an 808 drum is my love.
0:06.5	Your drug.
0:07.5	Your drug.
0:08.5	Your drug.
0:10.5	Your drug is my love.
0:14.5	Your drug.
0:16.5	Because...
0:17.5	What were you going to ask?
0:18.5	Why do ingrown hairs exist?
0:20.5	I believe what happens is your hair grows inwards.
0:24.0	So it's like, it's just like...
0:25.1	Why did it decide to do that?
0:26.6	Where?
0:27.1	My fupine.
0:28.4	Did you shave it?
0:29.7	No.
0:30.8	Um, it just happens sometimes, or I think maybe a lack of exfoliation can sometimes, um, promote
0:36.5	ingrown hair growth, but also exfoliating helps reduce
0:40.8	ingrown hair growth.
0:42.4	So I would probably just...
	...

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