Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week,

Chase your state. Sam brings the case against his longtime friend John. They both hail from

cities and Massachusetts, but John says that Sam isn't really from Massachusetts. He doesn't

have the attitude and spirit. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as

Judge John Hodgman. I think about justice when I wake up in the morning. I think about it all day,

and I dream about it at night. The only time I don't think about it is when I'm dispensing it.

Jesse Thorn, swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hand to

you, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever.

I do. Yeah, I do. You swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling,

despite the fact that he long ago abandoned the state of the commonwealth, excuse me,

of Massachusetts for the very marginally sunnier climbs of Park Slope Brooklyn.

I do. That's tough, but yeah, sure. Granted, only part time. Judge Hodgman.

Sam and John, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in your favor. Can you name the

piece of culture that I was paraphrasing, the person or piece of culture that I was paraphrasing as

I entered the courtroom? Sam? I wish I could, but I can't quite place it. No, you can't. John?

The Bible. The Bible? I can see how, where this is going to go. We got one man of Massachusetts

west, thoughtful, considerate answers the questions that I ask him. One guy from Boxford, Massachusetts

who's just going to be a mass hole this entire time. I already see what it's going to go.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong, John? Am I wrong?

What? We'll see.

I was not quoting the Bible. I was quoting Carl Yastremsky,

a sports person. He's not talking about justice. Yeah, I know. He's in your Bible.

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