You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

This week, Dan and I, Rachel Clinton, continue discussing the dynamics of erotic entanglement

by reflecting on the tendency for so many leaders to rely on the people they serve to meet

their deepest desires. As we engage this complex reality, we're invited to wrestle with our own

wounds, our calling, and the deep relational needs that too often go unaddressed in leadership.

I know we are talking about a not-so-easy topic.

Let's just say it again.

And one that at least a few folks as they listened said, you know, that was confusing.

And I don't know if I can go, well, let me see if I can simplify other than to repeat a couple sentences.

One, we're all in erotic demand, but we're also in a life hunger to find a sense of goodness in the presence of others.

And so that, I'm meant to have life as we do. I love doing these podcasts with you.

It's just so fun. There's energy. There's joy. We've had some rich, wonderful engagement with one

another. That's not problematic. When people move into an intimacy that isolates from others begins to bear a kind of

loyalty that does not have the larger labor of commitment for life because now you're violating loyalty to others,

then we're not talking about danger.

In fact, we're talking about it's dangerous when you don't have erotic relationships.

When you hide those, when you try to cover and you shame them.

But when they become sexualized, then in one sense you're feeding life energy into

erotic sexual energy.

And then whether you're single with another single person or married with a single person

or married with a married person, you're now in the kind of trouble we said we can deal

with in another podcast, but we're dealing with erotic transference.

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