Can You Don't? | Watermelon. Barefoot. Puke Purse. Itchy Cow.
Can You Don't?
Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt
4.3 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 4 February 2026
⏱️ 79 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever been in a situation that required you to tackle an old man in order to retrieve a license plate to avoid going to jail? Us either. Let's talk about that, government drones spying on Bryan, how heavy is a standard watermelon, how accidentally killing a puppy resulted in somehow feeling ok about making your dad cry, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Watermelon, Barefoot, Puk Purse, Itchy Cow. |
| 0:05.0 | I have to put some caffeine in the old bloodstream. |
| 0:24.8 | Is that what that needle is for? |
| 0:26.3 | No, that's heroin. |
| 0:27.9 | Welcome to episode 190 of the Canjidot podcast. |
| 0:32.5 | You guys excited to get rolling today? |
| 0:34.2 | Yeah, weird. |
| 0:35.4 | Closing it. |
| 0:35.6 | One 90's a big, it's a couple months away from, yeah, from hitting 200. |
| 0:40.1 | I have to start making some plans. |
| 0:41.4 | Yeah. |
| 0:42.0 | We were just talking about that. |
| 0:43.7 | And I honestly don't remember if it was a birthday episode where we were celebrating a year, |
| 0:50.4 | like some kind of one or two where we took the weed gummies, or if it was 100. |
| 1:14.5 | I don't remember. But they felt pretty close for year two. I remember that because it was like 100 and then 104. They were like four episodes apart or something. Anyway, we'll figure it out. We promise. Send in your content suggestions. Hey guys at can you don't podcast.com. Of course, Honkathon is rolling on. Go subscribe. Go check it out. |
| 1:22.6 | Patreon.com slash Candy don't podcast. Every support on there, no matter what tier, is the number one way to make sure the show keeps going. |
| 1:49.9 | So head on over there. Working our way through, Zach, still, if you guys are curious of what the hell he looks like. Yeah. 450 Patreon subscribers. They must not. They're going to get a camera. We haven't reached it yet. Yeah, Zach will get a camera at 450. I don't think my face is really good. You have a face for radio. You needed some caffeine today. I am sure. Yeah. Did you do any caffeine? I got a whole bunch, but you know, it's working slowly. Want some heroin? Yeah, probably. All right. |
| 2:18.3 | Wouldn't that do the opposite? Yeah. But he would just put him out of his misery. He just go straight to bed. Help me, sweet God. That's fine every now and again, you know. Everyone could use a little heroin. It's a weird motto for life. You're a good friend, Joe. Confessions on the show today. We've been talking about it. It feels like for months and months. And we are doing it today. So get ready for that. We do have some new merch in the store. I believe it's because we are recording many, many weeks in advance. |
| 2:24.7 | This will have been available at can you don't podcast.com for a couple weeks by the time this comes out. But check this shit out. So, say, couple different styles. Joey Hogbones, |
| 2:31.1 | bar and grill. Come for the hog, stay for the bone. |
| 2:35.4 | You got the big badge on the front, and then also if you just want to a small little nod to Joey's Hogbone, we have the little logo. |
| 2:44.4 | You know, that, like, kind of the pocket size t-shirt. |
... |
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