Can You Don't? | Fake Name. Begging. Lefty Loosey. Sperm Racing.
Can You Don't?
Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 8 October 2025
⏱️ 89 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Nothing really brings the boys together like wearing racing jackets, being obnoxiously loud, and cheering on your sperm as it races against your buddy's sperm on a tiny sperm racetrack. Let's talk about that, your stance on giving kisses after someone goes down on you, having an absolute meltdown in front of the police after giving them a fake name, the best place to crash your car if you're having a heart attack, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Fake name. Begging. Lefty Lucy. Sperm racing. |
| 0:05.0 | Today has the makings of a wacky episode. |
| 0:24.7 | Wacky. |
| 0:25.5 | But first of all, try to ignore the banging. |
| 0:28.5 | Mm. |
| 0:29.1 | So the kitchen remodel, just the way that things go, |
| 0:32.9 | the kitchen directly above the can you don't studios. |
| 0:36.9 | In Liberty Lake, Washington. The people working on it are going. kitchen directly above the can you don't studios in in liberty lake washington the people |
| 0:41.0 | working on it are going to be wondering what the fuck we're doing but anyway the flooring has to go back |
| 0:46.0 | in today we could not move it it was the only day that worked so if you hear some banging of |
| 0:51.1 | hammers and stuff throughout the episode uh and a party horn we gave them all party horns and a hammer |
| 0:56.4 | what does the dude like cuts his foot off or something not my problem what i say is bad day to |
| 1:03.7 | cut your foot off i'm recording a podcast can't help you just stop what's the number for nine one |
| 1:09.6 | i send in your content suggestions as always that, that email address. Hey, guys, at can you don't podcast.com. We had a weird morning. Did we? Part of the whole wackiness. Yeah, we woke up and Patreon was all fucked up. Yeah. It was weird. We emailed them. We're trying to figure it all out. |
| 1:31.7 | But overnight, the Patreon subscribers jumped up like 108. |
| 1:32.6 | Yeah. |
| 1:35.1 | And crushed every goal that we have part of Honkathon. |
| 1:39.5 | But we didn't have any notifications to support that this actually happened. |
| 1:41.7 | So we just waited it out. |
| 1:43.2 | And now it's backed out. |
| 1:46.0 | But we think, because we couldn't check the numbers, |
| 1:48.3 | we are going to say that we did reach the 425 goal |
... |
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