The Universal Moment. Both of your kids want the same toy, and they both insist that they had it

first. What do we do? And what happens when these arguments and these moments of bickering

actually go on over and over about every small thing that could be a comparison, that could be a competition.

Your kids find ways to compete about things that shouldn't ever be a competition.

If this is what it feels like sometimes in your house, you are not alone.

Sibling rivalry is normal.

Sibling rivalry is actually healthy in a lot of ways, and sibling rivalry is

never actually about the toy or the seat in the car. Sibling rivalry is often about insecurity,

about connection, about attachment, about confidence, about figuring out your place in the overall family system.

In today's episode, we're going to talk about what's really underneath sibling rivalry.

When your kids are arguing about the toy that they haven't played with for a year and only care about now that their sibling has it,

what's really happening when your kids whine? It's not

fair. And you're going to end today's episode with a much more nuanced understanding of these

moments and with a feeling of empowerment and hope because you're going to have a better

sense of what to do when these moments arise. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is good inside. We'll be back

right after this.

Why do siblings argue so much, and why do they bicker about the most meaningless things?

Okay, I think the best way to actually understand this is through a metaphor.

This was a brilliant metaphor by Adele Faber and Elaine Maslisch, authors of one of my favorite

parenting books, Siblings Without Rivalry.

And here's how they explain it.

Okay. So imagine you come home. For me, I would come home to my husband. And this is what he

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