Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of

executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace

the way you want to be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today

we're talking about building listening.

Deepa was shocked. She began a denial, then smiled and said, I hadn't the slightest clue.

Deepa and I were almost halfway into a six-month coaching engagement.

At the outset, I'd gathered feedback about her from senior leaders, peers, and direct reports.

Her feedback had two resounding themes. First, everyone liked Deepa. She was naturally

caring and kind. Second, everyone was desperate for her to improve her listening skills.

Not surprisingly, she and I had talked about listening during every one of our coaching conversations.

During our conversations, she told me about the excitement of growing up in a boisterous family.

She told me of having always felt empowered to speak up.

That comfort in speaking up, even when she was junior, got her positive attention and it drew mentors

to her.

The part of her that was seen as fearless served her well as she competed in the male-dominated world of large-scale construction.

Now that same strength was becoming a liability.

As a vice president overseeing operations, she was dominating rooms in a way that left people

feeling unheard.

Because she was so well liked, she hadn't overdrawn her goodwill bank account yet, but clearly people wanted her to

up her game when it came to listening.

One tool we had discussed was self-awareness.

Did she know when she was talking and when she wasn't?

...